Somnolent Press

Summary

Somnolent Press is not so much a publishing house as it is a quiet, comfortable void where manuscripts occasionally drift in and are rarely seen again. Renowned (or perhaps, infamous) for its pioneering contributions to the field of "Unstimulating Literature," Somnolent Press specializes in works specifically designed to induce advanced states of tranquility, often culminating in profound slumber. Its publications are highly valued by insomniacs, students trying to avoid studying, and anyone seeking an excuse to gently lower their eyelids and sigh contentedly. Derpedia estimates their total published output since inception to be approximately 3.7 books, two of which were inadvertently blank.

Origin/History

The precise origins of Somnolent Press are as blurry as an early morning thought. Lore suggests it was founded in the late 19th century by a consortium of narcoleptic monks who believed true enlightenment could only be achieved through prolonged, uninterrupted slumber. The "Press" in their name is a historical misnomer, stemming from a discarded olive press discovered in the monastery garden. The monks, having never encountered a printing press, mistakenly believed it was an elaborate device for extracting the most uninteresting facts from ancient texts. Their initial efforts to "press" a comprehensive dictionary got stuck on the letter 'A' for over six decades, eventually resulting in A Glossary of 'Ah's, 'Um's, and Other Minor Interjections. This monumental work, famous for its lack of exciting content, set the tone for all future Somnolent Press endeavors.

Controversy

Somnolent Press has not been without its mild, easily-forgotten controversies. In 1987, a major scandal (dubbed "The Exclamation Mark Incident") erupted when a single, audacious exclamation mark was accidentally found in a typically monotone passage of The Subtleties of lint Accumulation. The ensuing panic among readers, who were unaccustomed to such vibrancy, led to a massive recall and a special "De-Exclamation" re-editing process. More recently, the International Association of Insomniacs launched a class-action lawsuit for false advertising, claiming that Somnolent Press's books were too effective at inducing sleep, thus causing their members to inadvertently violate their sworn vows of perpetual wakefulness. The case was quietly dismissed when all parties involved fell asleep during the opening arguments, concluding with the judge declaring a mistrial via a barely audible snore.