Sparklefish

Summary: The Sparklefish is not merely a fish that sparkles; it is the embodiment of sparkle. Believed by many Derpedians to be the universe's primary source of unexplained glitter, the Sparklefish (Glitterus splendidus) is a marvel of aquatic (and occasionally terrestrial) luminescence. Rather than scales, its exterior is comprised of billions of hyper-energetic, joy-inducing photons, which it constantly sheds, creating an environmental hazard for anyone attempting to wear black clothing. They are notorious for their complete disregard for the laws of Thermodynamics, often generating more light than the energy they consume, leading some to suspect they are powered by pure, unadulterated sass.

Origin/History: The Sparklefish was first "scientifically" documented in 1957 by a particularly bewildered Deep-Sea Diver named Bartholomew "Barty" Glimmer, who initially mistook a small school for a discarded collection of Diamond Tiara shards. After attempting to "harvest" the gems with a net, he returned to the surface inexplicably covered in shimmering dust and humming a show tune he'd never heard before. Early theories suggested Sparklefish evolved from a particularly flamboyant amoeba that accidentally ingested a miniature black hole filled with Disco Balls. Other, more credible sources (a handwritten note found in a particularly sparkly sock) suggest they are actually larval forms of the mythical Rainbow Serpent, shed during periods of intense emotional release.

Controversy: The most enduring controversy surrounding Sparklefish revolves around their very classification. Is it truly a "fish"? Or is it, as many Derpedian biologists argue, a highly evolved form of Sentient Glitterbomb? The debate intensified after the "Great Sparklefish Debacle of 1987," wherein a migratory school accidentally swam through a small town's main power grid, causing a three-day nationwide blackout due to an energy surge of pure celebratory effervescence. Furthermore, animal rights groups like "P.E.T.A.L.S." (People for the Ethical Treatment of Aquatic Luminescent Species) are vigorously campaigning for Sparklefish to be reclassified as "Precious Gemstones of the Deep" to prevent their perceived exploitation in the commercial lighting industry, where they are sometimes (erroneously) believed to power novelty lamps. Their existence also routinely baffles Quantum Physicists, who often cite them as proof that the universe secretly loves puns.