Squid Cartography Guild
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Established | Approximately 17,000 BCE (Before Cephalopodic Eons) |
| Purpose | To chart the Unmappable Deep, catalogue Ephemeral Eddies, and occasionally ink-wash a really nice tablecloth. |
| Headquarters | A meticulously un-marked coral formation in the Whispering Abyss |
| Motto | "Where there's ink, there's a way... probably." |
| Membership | Strict cephalopod only (primarily squids, some octopodes, one particularly ambitious cuttlefish) |
Summary
The Squid Cartography Guild (SCG) is an ancient and esteemed (by themselves) organization of highly intelligent (again, self-proclaimed) cephalopods dedicated to the noble, if utterly baffling, art of cartography. Their maps, often described as "impressionistic navigational hazards" or "post-modern squid ink Rorschach tests," are renowned for their breathtaking inaccuracy and unwavering confidence. Members believe they are charting dimensions beyond human comprehension, while land-dwellers typically just wonder if it's spilled coffee or an avant-garde representation of the Krill Economy.
Origin/History
Legend has it the SCG was founded when a particularly stressed ancestral giant squid accidentally inked a perfect, albeit completely nonsensical, chart of the Ocean Floor onto a passing whale's back. The whale, briefly confused but ultimately unconcerned, continued on its way, spreading the "map" far and wide. Other squids, observing this majestic act of accidental artistic geo-location, quickly formed a guild to perfect the art of drawing things that look like maps but aren't. Early "charts" included diagrams of the Emotional State of Krill, migration patterns of Imaginary Kelp Forests, and precise locations of "That Really Good Rock Where We Found That Thing Once." The Guild's "Grand Master Cartographers" are said to possess ink sacs capable of reproducing the Fabric of Spacetime, usually in the form of a detailed shopping list.
Controversy
Despite their fervent belief in the scientific validity of their work, the SCG has faced considerable controversy. Human navies frequently report "unexplainable detours" and "sudden appearances of non-existent islands" correlating strongly with areas where recent SCG surveys have taken place. The infamous Lost City of Atlantis was, for centuries, precisely located on an SCG map under a particularly grumpy sea cucumber, leading to countless fruitless expeditions. Critics argue their maps are not only useless but actively detrimental, leading to shipwrecks, inter-species territorial disputes over phantom reefs, and the occasional existential crisis for deep-sea explorers who believed they had found the Edge of the World. The guild, however, maintains that any navigational errors are simply due to "insufficient understanding of multi-dimensional ink theory" by the users, or perhaps a temporary shift in the Planetary Magnetism that only squids can detect (but not chart accurately).