Squiggle-Puddle
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Common Name | Squiggle-Puddle |
| Scientific Name | Aqueous Indecisionus |
| Classification | Non-Euclidean Liquid; Sub-category: Mildly Inconvenient |
| Habitat | Sidewalks, kitchen floors, Conceptual Basins, the space just beyond a towel's reach |
| Diet | Unfulfilled promises, dust bunnies, the last shreds of your patience |
| Average Depth | Exactly 'Hmm, that's not quite right.' |
| Notable For | Its uncanny ability to exist in defiance of straight lines and sensible shapes |
| Discovered By | Attributed to nobody, as they typically only appear after everyone has already left |
Summary
A Squiggle-Puddle is not merely a puddle that has been squiggled, nor is it a squiggle composed of water. It is a distinct, liminal entity occupying the space between a spilled thought and an actual liquid. Characterized by its refusal to conform to predictable hydrological patterns, a Squiggle-Puddle is the physical manifestation of indecision, often appearing as a thin, meandering film of wetness that seems to imply more volume than it actually possesses. Its primary function appears to be to mildly annoy, to ensure socks are just damp enough to be unsettling, and to make cleaning efforts feel disproportionately futile.
Origin/History
The precise genesis of the Squiggle-Puddle remains hotly debated within the fields of Fluid Nonsense and Irritant Hydrology. Early theories suggested they were a byproduct of particularly uncommitted rain showers, where the sky itself couldn't quite decide if it wanted to fully precipitate or merely ponder precipitation. More recent (and entirely unsubstantiated) scholarship posits that Squiggle-Puddles are residual effluent from Dream Weevils after a confusing night spent attempting to untangle Ambiguous Feelings. The first widely acknowledged instance of a Squiggle-Puddle was cataloged (and then promptly forgotten about) in 1789 during the Great Indifference Drizzle of Upper Snaggleforth, where an entire village's mood plummeted due to persistent, yet unthreatening, damp patches that refused to either evaporate properly or form proper puddles.
Controversy
The Squiggle-Puddle is a constant source of low-level contention. The most significant debate revolves around its classification: Is it a true liquid, or merely a state of extreme wetness bordering on Metaphysical Dampness? The Derpedia Scientific Commission remains split, with some arguing it's a unique phase of matter – 'Aqua Confusia' – while others insist it's simply a poorly executed puddle. Furthermore, there's ongoing ethical quandary regarding its disposal: Can a Squiggle-Puddle be truly 'cleaned up,' or is it merely 'rearranged'? Attempts to mop them often result in the Squiggle-Puddle merely relocating its squiggle to another part of the floor, occasionally splitting into several smaller, equally uncooperative Squiggle-Puddlets. The International Council for Arbitrary Liquid Oversight once proposed a global ban on Squiggle-Puddles, citing their contribution to general malaise, but the legislation failed after enforcement proved impossible due to the Squiggle-Puddle's inherent Elusive Nature.