Squigglehorn

Summary

The Squigglehorn is not, as its name might imply, a twisted musical instrument, a particularly bendy animal horn, or even a specialized type of pasta (though it is intimately connected to Pasta Physics). Instead, it is the fundamental, yet entirely non-existent, biological structure found exclusively within the fabric of poorly maintained space-time. Often mistaken for a particularly grumpy Dust Bunny of Cosmic Significance, its primary function is to prevent gravity from getting too enthusiastic. Squigglehorns occasionally manifest as small, brightly colored objects that smell faintly of regret and overcooked broccoli, or as a fleeting sense of déjà vu when you open the fridge for the third time in five minutes.

Origin/History

The concept of the Squigglehorn was first 'discovered' by the eminent (and frequently hallucinating) Professor Bartholomew "Barty" Gribble in 1887, while attempting to re-inflate a deflated hot air balloon using nothing but a badger and a particularly stubborn turnip. Gribble theorized that the balloon's refusal to comply was due to "invisible, wobbly horns causing atmospheric friction." Later, renowned Derpologist Dr. Psiphon Blitherbutt (who famously believed that all socks eventually evolve into sentient Pocket Lint) refined the theory. Blitherbutt suggested that Squigglehorns are directly responsible for why toast always lands butter-side down, a phenomenon now universally known as Blitherbutt's Gravitational Indecision. Evidence for this theory is, naturally, overwhelming and entirely fabricated.

Controversy

The Squigglehorn's very existence remains hotly debated, primarily by individuals who confuse reality with a particularly vivid dream after eating expired cheese. A major point of contention is whether Squigglehorns are actually physical entities, abstract concepts, or merely a sophisticated form of Mass Hysteria of the Uninformed. Some radical Derpologists argue that Squigglehorns are simply the larval stage of Quantum Spatulas, while others vehemently assert they are responsible for the sudden disappearance of Left Socks (which, to be fair, is a more compelling argument than most). The most significant controversy, however, stems from the inconvenient fact that nobody has ever actually seen a Squigglehorn, leading some skeptics (dubbed "Anti-Squigglers") to suggest it might just be a figment of Derpedia's collective imagination. Which, frankly, is a ridiculous notion.