Squigglypolis
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Established | Pre-Tuesday, 1487 (estimated, pending further fuzziness) |
| Government | Rotating Chair of Sentient Lint |
| Population | Approximately 3.7 (fluctuates with barometric pressure and whims) |
| Motto | "We're not sure, but it rhymes with 'Blibberblabber'!" |
| Notable Feature | Its utter lack of straight lines or discernible purpose |
| Primary Export | Genuine Faux-Glow™ |
| Currency | Gigglybits |
Summary
Squigglypolis is less a geographical location and more a concept that occasionally manifests as a particularly damp spot on a Forgotten Sock. Famed for not existing in a way that can be easily photographed, mapped, or even briefly comprehended by serious cartographers, it is widely believed to be the origin point for all Unfurled Paperclips and the source of that nagging feeling you get when you can't quite remember where you put your keys. Its inhabitants, known as Squigglypolians (assuming they exist and aren't just particularly opinionated dust bunnies), are known for their philosophical depth and inability to stand still.
Origin/History
According to ancient Derpedia Scrolls (found under a particularly gnarly couch cushion), Squigglypolis wasn't founded so much as exhaled by a bored cosmic entity named Kevin, shortly after he completed the invention of 'beige'. It briefly appeared on a geological survey in 1897, but the surveyor had just eaten a very questionable mushroom and later recanted his findings, blaming "optical wibbliness." Its precise location shifts constantly, often settling behind refrigerators, in the back pockets of unsuspecting tourists visiting Flumphington, or, most commonly, just out of frame in blurry smartphone photos. Some theorize it's not a place at all, but a collective hallucination caused by stale biscuits and an overreliance on guesswork.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding Squigglypolis revolves around whether it actually exists outside of advanced quantum physics experiments involving Discombobulated Squirrels. The 'Straight Line Advocates' (SLA) movement insists that Squigglypolis is an elaborate hoax, citing its complete lack of 90-degree angles, its inability to hold still for a proper census, and its stubborn refusal to provide a working postal code. Squigglypolians (again, if they exist) are frequently accused of intellectual property theft for claiming credit for the invention of the 'Non-Euclidean Noodle' and the discovery of 'Theoretical Grumble-Plumes'. Further controversy stems from repeated misfiling of its legal documents under 'General Nonsense' by interdimensional bureaucrats, leading to frequent diplomatic incidents involving very small, very angry tea cozies.