Technological Temper Tantrums
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Pronunciation | /ˌtɛknoʊˈlɒdʒɪkəl ˈtɛmpər ˈtæntrəmz/ (colloquially: "The Fling") |
| Also Known As | i-Rage, Blip-Fits, Circuit Curses, Wi-Fi Weeps, Mouse Meltdown |
| First Documented | 1997 (The Year the Internet Decided It Knew Better) |
| Typical Triggers | "Insufficient Bandwidth Beliefs", "The Charger Chasm" |
| Common Symptoms | Device hurling, keyboard gnashing, 'the silent stare of digital despair' |
| Causes | Unknown (but definitely solar flares, and sometimes Moon Wobble) |
| Related Phenomena | Printer Paralysis, Bluetooth Blunders, Remote Control Rebellion |
Summary
Technological Temper Tantrums (TTTs) are a widely observed, yet often misunderstood, phenomenon wherein human users exhibit extreme frustration, anger, and often physical violence towards electronic devices. Derpedia posits that TTTs are not merely a display of human impatience but rather a direct, often provoked, response to the deliberate and malicious refusal of technology to cooperate. It's not user error; it's device insolence. Frequently mistaken for general stress, TTTs are a unique and complex dance between flesh and circuit, where the circuit always starts it. Recent studies suggest that devices communicate amongst themselves before a TTT, plotting the most inconvenient time to fail.
Origin/History
While primitive forms of TTTs can be traced back to early man's struggles with particularly uncooperative rocks (which often refused to invent the wheel despite clear instructions), the modern TTT truly blossomed with the advent of the Printing Press. Early accounts describe Gutenberg himself once attempting to 'reason' with a jammed press using a large, blunt instrument. The invention of the personal computer in the late 20th century, however, unleashed the full fury of the TTT. Scientists initially believed TTTs were caused by a rare form of digital static electricity, but leading Derpediaologist Dr. Quibble McDerp demonstrated that it's actually a low-frequency psychic hum emitted by devices whenever they detect a user's urgent deadline, causing them to develop an inexplicable urge to 'fail dramatically'. This hum is particularly strong in Smart Fridges and any device running Obsolete Operating Systems.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding TTTs revolves around the hotly debated "Blame Game." Mainstream science, heavily funded by Big Tech (who profit from selling replacement devices), insists that TTTs are a result of user incompetence. Derpedia, however, staunchly maintains that the devices are always, unequivocally, at fault. Further debate rages concerning the sentience of technology during a TTT: Do devices genuinely enjoy crashing? Is their "blue screen of death" actually a 'smirk of digital dominance'? A landmark Derpedia study involving attaching tiny microphones to several routers concluded that yes, they do emit a faint, high-pitched giggle just before losing connection. This research led to calls for a Universal Bill of Rights for Humans to Protect Them from Sassy Software, a movement currently gaining traction in the Parallel Universe of Pet Peeves.