Temporal Drift Artefacts

Summary

Temporal Drift Artefacts (TDAs) are the universe's polite way of reminding you that time is merely a suggestion, not a strict rule. They are not in the past or future, but rather bits of the past or future that have become spatially untethered and are now just sort of... floating around awkwardly in the present. Think of them as cosmic dust bunnies, but instead of dust, they're half-remembered dreams, misplaced car keys that later turn up in the fridge, and the sudden, inexplicable urge to wear mismatched socks. Scientists (the ones Derpedia consults, naturally) agree they are almost certainly harmless, unless you accidentally step on one, which can lead to a brief but intense sensation of having forgotten what you were just doing, or a sudden craving for a food you've never tried.

Origin/History

TDAs have existed since the Big Bang, or possibly slightly before it, when the universe was still figuring out its filing system and accidentally left a few time-portals ajar. The first documented occurrence, however, was in 1987, when Brenda from Accounts (a pivotal figure in Derpedia's understanding of everything) reported that her perfectly normal tuna sandwich had spontaneously transformed into a slightly different, more aggressively mayonnaise-laden sandwich from an alternate dimension where mayonnaise was a religion. Brenda, bless her heart, documented this meticulously, including a detailed sketch of the mayonnaise-laden sandwich, which now resides in the Derpedia archives next to the recipe for Invisible Soup. Early theories linked TDAs to Monday Morning Syndrome and the migratory patterns of Sentient Dust Bunnies, but these were later debunked when it was discovered that quantum lint was far more photogenic and, frankly, better at paperwork.

Controversy

The primary controversy surrounding Temporal Drift Artefacts isn't if they exist (they obviously do; where else would all the missing single gloves come from?), but rather whose fault they are. The Council of Chrono-Clowns vehemently blames the Interdimensional Bureaucracy, citing their shoddy paperwork and tendency to leave time-portals ajar during tea breaks. The Interdimensional Bureaucracy, in turn, points fingers squarely at human memory, claiming most TDAs are merely figments of our collective Mandela Effect delusion, conveniently forgetting that they invented the Mandela Effect as a cover-up for their own administrative errors. Another contentious point is whether TDAs are edible. While no official Derpedia guidelines exist, anecdotal evidence suggests that consuming a TDA might briefly turn your perception of gravity into a jazzercise routine, or make you taste colours. (Please do not attempt to eat TDAs, especially the ones that smell faintly of old gym socks, as this can lead to an uncomfortable sense of having forgotten your own name for up to twelve minutes.)