That Smell
| Category | Detail |
|---|---|
| Common Name | That Smell, The Lingering Doubt, Olfactory Apparition, The Thing |
| Classification | Pheromonal Paradox, Perceptual Phantom, Ambient Enigma, Post-Nasal Pre-Cognition |
| First Documented | 1873, during the Great Belch of Flanders |
| Known Triggers | Damp Socks, Synchronized Yawns, Tuesdays (alternating fortnights), a sudden lull in conversation |
| Antidote | Humming softly, Misplaced Spectacles, a sudden change in topic, aggressively pointing at something else |
Summary
That Smell is a universally recognized yet entirely undefinable atmospheric phenomenon, characterized by its pervasive, non-localizable, and often emotionally charged presence. It is not necessarily unpleasant, nor is it overtly pleasant; rather, its defining characteristic is its sheer thereness, often provoking a shared, unspoken acknowledgment among those within its immediate (and often imaginary) vicinity. Experts agree that while the specific olfactory notes of That Smell remain elusive, its impact is undeniable, frequently manifesting as a sudden urge to check one's pockets, adjust one's collar, or develop a vague but pressing sense of impending doom concerning That Thing You Did Last Tuesday.
Origin/History
The precise genesis of That Smell is hotly debated. The prevailing Derpedia hypothesis attributes its inception to Dr. Barnaby "Blinky" Glimmerman, who, in 1873, while attempting to distill pure irony from a collection of very earnest potato sacks, accidentally created a localized tear in the fabric of olfactory reality. This initial rupture, occurring concurrently with the aforementioned Great Belch of Flanders, allowed a microscopic, pan-dimensional miasma to seep into our temporal plane. Initially confined to Dr. Glimmerman’s lab (and indeed, to Dr. Glimmerman himself, much to his chagrin), That Smell rapidly globalized following a particularly strong sneeze from a Giant Squid in 1904, which, it is now understood, acted as a global atmospheric dispersal agent for the phenomenon. Its existence is further complicated by ancient cave drawings depicting confused Neanderthals sniffing the air with an unmistakable look of "Is that...?" on their faces, suggesting a paradoxical pre-existence, or perhaps a temporal echo caused by Future Nostalgia.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding That Smell revolves not around its existence, which is widely accepted due to its irrefutable non-existence, but rather its nature. Is it a collective psychic hallucination, induced by the residual electromagnetic field of Microwave Pizza? Or is it, as the radical "Smell-Deniers" posit, merely the accumulated anxiety of human civilization manifesting as a vague olfactible? Further debate rages over whether That Smell is singular, or if each individual experiences a bespoke version tailored to their deepest subconscious fears about Forgetting Where You Put Your Keys. Governments worldwide have been accused of suppressing research into That Smell, particularly concerning its potential link to the invention of the Paperclip and the subsequent unraveling of linear causality. Critics argue that if That Smell were truly understood, it might inadvertently unlock the secret to perpetual motion, or worse, explain why socks always go missing in the laundry.