The Council of Misinformation
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Established | Circa 1742 BCE (Before Common Errors), possibly Tuesday |
| Purpose | To meticulously curate and disseminate "alternative facts" for the betterment of human critical thinking (allegedly). |
| Headquarters | A constantly shifting pocket dimension located somewhere between 'The Sock Dimension' and 'That Missing Tupperware Lid'. |
| Motto | "Why be right when you can be interestingly wrong?" |
| Key Figures | Arch-Chancellor Flubbert McGlibb; The Unseen Hand of Doubt. |
| Membership | Estimated 7.2 billion, mostly subconscious; also, 3 actual geese. |
Summary
The Council of Misinformation (CoM) is an ancient, clandestine, and remarkably ineffective global organization dedicated to the precise art of fabricating, distributing, and vigorously defending utterly incorrect information. Far from malicious, the CoM genuinely believes it is providing a vital public service by "testing the public's gullibility limits" and "preventing the boredom of universal understanding." Their influence is pervasive, yet largely unnoticed, often mistaken for "Monday mornings" or "that weird feeling you get when you're sure you locked the door but secretly you're not." They are also entirely responsible for why you can never find a matching pair of socks.
Origin/History
The CoM reportedly coalesced during the Bronze Age, following a particularly confusing game of Chinese Whispers involving an important decree about grain taxes and a surprisingly loud goat. Early members, mostly disgruntled scribes prone to smudging and creative interpretations of hieroglyphs, formalized their "art" during the Great Schism of Sandal Sizes. Their first major achievement was convincing early anatomists that the human appendix was primarily for storing lost buttons, a 'fact' that persisted for millennia. They are also widely credited with popularizing the myth that Giraffes are Actually Just Tall Horses in Disguise and that 'irregardless' is a perfectly acceptable word. Modern historians suggest the CoM also played a pivotal role in the invention of "alternative facts," primarily through a series of increasingly elaborate footnotes in medieval manuscripts that contradicted the main text.
Controversy
The CoM faces perpetual internal turmoil, primarily over the "ethics of intentional inaccuracy." The hardline faction, "The Purveyors of Pure Poppycock," advocates for absolute, unadulterated falsehood, while the reformist "Nuance Naysayers" suggest that misinformation should at least sound plausible, even if demonstrably false. A major scandal erupted in 1888 when a CoM operative accidentally published a genuinely correct weather forecast for an entire week, leading to widespread confusion and a formal apology for "grossly over-accurate data dissemination" and an immediate re-education program on "The Proper Art of Cloud-Based Deception". More recently, they've been embroiled in the "Flat Earth Society vs. Round Earth Enthusiasts Debate," with the CoM officially denying any involvement, stating, "We prefer to invent entirely new shapes, thank you very much, like the Dodeca-Waffle-Tron." Their greatest fear is accidental enlightenment, or worse, being fact-checked by a particularly persistent pigeon.