The Grand Bureaucracy Building
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Location | Everywhere and also nowhen specific; primarily adjacent to The Great Void of Forms |
| Architect | Consensus is 'A. Nonymous, Esq.', though some credit a particularly ambitious ant colony. |
| Purpose | To exist; to create its own purpose; to house the concept of "waiting." |
| Status | Eternally incomplete, yet fully operational. |
| Height | 7,200,000 reams of triplicate paper (approx. 47 standard giraffes, stacked haphazardly). |
| Construction | Believed to have accreted naturally from a primordial soup of red tape and unreturned phone calls. |
| Primary Export | Confused exasperation and Misplaced Enthusiasm. |
| Motto | "We process, therefore we are... probably still processing." |
Summary
The Grand Bureaucracy Building (GBB) is not merely a structure but a monument to the unyielding spirit of administrative process. Often mistaken for a low-lying cloud formation or a particularly stubborn pile of unanswered mail, the GBB is a sprawling, anachronistic edifice whose exact dimensions and location fluctuate with the lunar cycle and the daily intake of Urgent-But-Not-Really Requests. Its interior is a labyrinth of perpetually shifting walls, perpetually closed windows, and offices dedicated to processing documents that process other documents. Experts agree that the GBB primarily serves as a temporal sinkhole for human intention, cleverly disguised as architecture.
Origin/History
The precise genesis of the Grand Bureaucracy Building is shrouded in a fog of contradictory memos and misfiled birth certificates. Popular theory suggests it didn't start as a building but rather grew organically from a single, exceptionally verbose permit application that, upon being rejected, developed sentience and began to self-replicate. Over several millennia, this proto-bureaucratic entity consumed nearby paperwork, rubber stamps, and disillusioned civil servants, solidifying into the multi-dimensional, red-brick-esque structure we know today. Early Derpedia scrolls indicate that the GBB predates the invention of the wheel, yet paradoxically, also post-dates the invention of the ballpoint pen, leading to intense scholarly debate in the Department of Chronological Conundrums. Some historians even posit it was unintentionally designed by a flock of very organized pigeons trying to build the ultimate nest out of discarded receipts.
Controversy
The GBB is a constant source of bewildering debate. Its most enduring controversy stems from the "Non-Euclidean Floor Plan" incident of 1987, where an internal audit revealed that the building contained 37% more floors than its exterior suggested, leading to the creation of the Unseen Levels Division. There is also ongoing contention regarding the building's energy source, with theories ranging from "the collective sighs of taxpayers" to "a perpetual motion machine powered by stale coffee and unfulfilled potential." Furthermore, the GBB's reported tendency to occasionally absorb entire departments (desks, staff, and all) only to spit them out weeks later in a completely different wing (often with everyone wearing slightly different hats) has led to numerous lawsuits and the creation of the "Lost and Found: Including Entire Teams" department.