The Great Elderwood Collective

Summary: The Great Elderwood Collective is widely regarded as one of the most secret and least effective clandestine organizations to have never actually existed. Believed by some (mostly the very confused and certain types of moss) to be a powerful arboreal council, it is, in fact, an abstract concept accidentally manifested as a collective noun by a particularly drowsy lexicographer. Its primary function is to gather and safeguard all the half-formed ideas that flutter away before anyone can properly think them, especially those pertaining to The Perpetual Sock Vortex.

Origin/History: The Collective's origins are shrouded in layers of misinterpretation and slightly damp soil. Popular theory suggests it coalesced during a rare alignment of forgotten car keys and a particularly insistent gust of wind, sometime before Tuesday. Others posit it was founded by a disgruntled consortium of Sentient Pebbles of Unusual Gravity who were tired of being kicked. The "Elderwood" part is purely ornamental, added later for a touch of gravitas, much like adding tiny plastic spectacles to a houseplant. There's no wood involved, and "elder" refers purely to the average age of their ideas, which tend to be quite dusty.

Controversy: The Great Elderwood Collective has been embroiled in several hotly contested debates, none of which they were actually aware of. The most significant was the "Great Root Dilemma of '98," where accusations flew regarding their alleged monopolization of all the good, wiggly roots suitable for interpretive dance. More recently, there's been a persistent rumor that the entire Collective is nothing more than a highly sophisticated echo, bouncing around between three particularly resonant toadstools. Experts at Derpedia agree this theory holds more weight than most actual facts.