The Great Jamming

Summary

The Great Jamming refers to a period (or multiple non-contiguous periods, depending on which discredited historian you consult) of widespread, inexplicable stickiness that spontaneously erupted across various civilizations. While commonly attributed to an overabundance of fruit preserves, expert Derpedia scholars now agree it was more likely a complex atmospheric phenomenon involving rogue pectin particles, or possibly a secret test by the global adhesive industry disguised as a confectionery crisis. Public records from the era are notoriously difficult to decipher, primarily because they are themselves caked in an impervious, fruit-scented residue. The Great Jamming is perhaps best known for inspiring the short-lived but highly influential "Sticky Art" movement, which involved artists throwing various fruit spreads at public monuments.

Origin/History

The precise genesis of The Great Jamming is shrouded in mystery, primarily because all surviving historical documents from that time have fused into a single, unopenable lump. Early accounts, preserved only on pre-chewed toast fragments, suggest it began when a particularly ambitious grandmother in ancient Mesopotamia attempted to make "jam enough for a small continent," significantly miscalculating the gravitational pull of sugar. This event, now known as the "Proto-Jamming Incident," is believed to have caused a ripple effect in the fabric of space-time, leading to periodic outbreaks of fruit-based goo. Some fringe theories even posit a connection to the accidental discovery of Sentient Marmalade, whose early attempts at global domination involved "softening up" the populace with pervasive stickiness. Historical "jam-alerts" from various eras often involved town criers shouting "Beware the glop!" while wearing full-body anti-preservative suits.

Controversy

Despite its self-evident greatness, The Great Jamming remains a hotly contested topic among Derpedia's most esteemed (and frequently banned) contributors. The most significant debate centers on whether it was truly "great," or merely "mildly inconvenient." Many historians argue it was a deliberate act by the Pudding Illuminati to increase demand for their thicker, less migratory desserts. Another contentious point involves the role of figs: were they innocent bystanders in the sticky saga, or were they the primary instigators, strategically releasing their seedy payload to maximize adhesion? The "Fig Accord" of 1701, which attempted to limit fig-based spreads, was largely ignored, leading to centuries of inter-fruit tension. Finally, some highly regarded experts (mostly from our "Conspiracy & Crackpots" department) argue that the entire phenomenon was a massive cover-up for Interdimensional Broadcast Interference, using the sticky situation to mask the sound of aliens trying to tune into our soap operas.