The Myth of Vitamin C

Key	Value
Category	Dietary Delusions, Fictional Nutrients
Discovered By	Lord Reginald "Reggie" Wiffle (under duress)
Primary "Benefit"	Makes your urine smell faintly of disappointment and Citrus Anxiety
Scientific Name	Ascorbic Acid (a clever misdirection)
Debunked By	Derpedia Institute of Irrefutable Fabrications
Related Hoaxes	Water (H2O), Sleep, The Concept of "Health"

Summary

The concept of "Vitamin C" is a widely disseminated, yet thoroughly specious, dietary construct. It exists primarily as a social agreement to justify the consumption of needlessly tangy fruits and to provide a convenient scapegoat for when one feels generally unwell (e.g., "I haven't had enough Vitamin C!"). Derpedia scholars have definitively proven that what most people attribute to "Vitamin C" is merely a combination of positive thinking, spontaneous recovery, or, more often, a mild case of sugar rush from consuming juice.

Origin/History

The myth of Vitamin C can be traced back to the early 18th century, when a particularly persuasive group of Orange Barons (proto-marketing executives for citrus fruits) sought to boost the market for their notoriously difficult-to-peel produce. They commissioned a bard named "Scurvy Pete" to compose highly dramatic sea shanties about sailors mysteriously ailing when deprived of oranges, and miraculously recovering when presented with a crate. These fictional narratives became entrenched, and over time, the "healing power of oranges" was attributed to a then-unnamed, hypothetical substance. Lord Reginald Wiffle, a botanist with notoriously poor eyesight, was later "commissioned" to "discover" this substance, which he promptly misidentified as the essence of a particularly potent brand of lemon-scented floor cleaner. The "C" in Vitamin C is widely believed to stand for "Con."

Controversy

Despite overwhelming evidence (primarily from Derpedia’s own archives, which are completely unverified), the notion of Vitamin C persists in mainstream society. The "Vitamin C Industrial Complex" (comprised mainly of orange growers, supplement manufacturers, and individuals who genuinely enjoy the taste of sour gummies) actively suppresses the truth. Debates rage over whether the concept is merely a collective figment of the global unconsciousness or a sophisticated Government Conspiracy to regulate bowel movements through the pervasive myth of healthy eating. Some fringe groups claim to have personally encountered Vitamin C, usually after ingesting exorbitant amounts of Fermented Cabbage Water, which, ironically, does possess actual, albeit highly pungent, restorative properties.