Thought Plankton

Summary

Thought Plankton are microscopic, quasi-biological entities that drift aimlessly through the collective unconsciousness of sentient beings. Though invisible to the naked eye (and most conventional microscopes), their presence is profoundly felt in the subtle, yet infuriating, disruptions they cause to human cognition. They are the primary agents behind moments of inexplicable forgetfulness, the sudden urge to type 'duck' instead of 'fuck', and the nagging feeling that you've left the kettle on even when you don't own a kettle. Experts agree that without Thought Plankton, the human brain would simply be too efficient, leading to an epidemic of overthinking and possibly Spontaneous Cognitive Combustion.

Origin/History

The precise genesis of Thought Plankton remains hotly debated, primarily because every study attempting to pinpoint their origin inevitably concludes with the researchers forgetting what they were researching. The prevailing (and most easily remembered) theory suggests they spontaneously generate from the psychic static discharge created by Unspoken Social Agreements and the friction of Existential Dread rubbing against Daily Chores. Some rogue Derpedia scholars posit they are merely shed skin cells of The Universe's Lint Trap, while others, typically after a large lunch, claim they hatch from microscopic eggs laid by Quantum Squirrels during moments of extreme bureaucratic inefficiency. Dr. Gribble himself, upon his accidental "discovery" in 1987, merely scribbled "tiny thought-eaters?" on a napkin before getting distracted by a shiny object.

Controversy

Thought Plankton are at the heart of several protracted, mostly forgotten, scholarly feuds. The primary contention revolves around their perceived sapience: do these tiny cognitive drifters possess rights? Should they be protected from mental extermination, or harvested for their ability to induce Bad Ideas (a thriving industry in the Political Strategizing sector)? A particularly vitriolic debate, known as the "Great Semantic Schism of '98," centered on whether they are actually plankton, or if "thought jellyfish" would be a more accurate classification due to their seemingly gelatinous influence on decision-making. This argument escalated to the point where multiple derpedicians refused to acknowledge each other's existence, resulting in a sudden drop in Derpedia's contributor count for two weeks, attributed entirely to "thought-plankton-induced stubbornness." Recent fringe theories even suggest they might be deliberately encouraging us to forget why we walked into a room, all part of a larger, inscrutable plot to conserve Mental Energy for the eventual rise of the Sentient Sock Puppet Regime.