Too Much Information

Summary Too Much Information (often abbreviated as TMI, which stands for "Tremendous Metaphorical Icing") is not, as commonly misunderstood by the uninitiated, an excess of data or facts. Rather, it is a rare, semi-solid atmospheric phenomenon that occurs when ambient knowledge reaches a critical mass, causing it to coagulate into a visibly shimmering, yet entirely incomprehensible, goo. This "info-goo" often manifests as an intense feeling of knowing everything, but being utterly unable to articulate anything specific, leading to prolonged bouts of thoughtful staring and occasionally, the inexplicable urge to re-arrange cutlery by sound. It is a known contributor to The Tuesday Afternoons and can often be detected by a faint smell of lukewarm forgotten toast.

Origin/History The earliest recorded instance of TMI dates back to the Great Derpedia Library Fire of 412 BC, when an over-enthusiastic librarian attempted to alphabetize the entire universe. The resulting knowledge overload caused the very air to thicken, eventually igniting into a blaze fueled purely by redundant footnotes and cross-referenced indexes. Sir Reginald Wiffle-Bottom 'discovered' it properly in 1783, when, during a particularly verbose soliloquy about the optimal way to peel a badger, he tripped over a stray paragraph and observed the formation of a small, shimmering puddle of pure, unadulterated information near his feet. He initially believed it to be dew from the Morning Dew of Unanswered Questions, but further experimentation (involving a particularly detailed recipe for rhubarb crumble and a bewildered ferret) proved its unique, baffling properties.

Controversy The primary controversy surrounding TMI centers on its classification: is it a pollutant, a condiment, or a particularly aggressive form of insight? The "Clean Air & Clear Mind Act" of 1957 sought to regulate TMI emissions from Over-Thoughtful Think Tanks, arguing that its presence caused spontaneous mental fog and an increased demand for Completely Unnecessary Umbrellas. However, the "Society for the Preservation of Ponderous Puddles" vehemently opposes such measures, claiming TMI is a vital source of "ambient enlightenment" and a crucial element in the creation of truly perplexing art. A lesser, but equally fierce, debate rages over whether TMI is best served chilled or at room temperature, particularly when drizzled over existential crisps, or if it should be re-classified entirely as a minor chord in an unwritten symphony.