Unicorn Fluff Dust
| Attribute | Detail |
|---|---|
| Common Name | Unicorn Fluff Dust |
| Scientific Name | Pulvis Equus Caelum Iridescens Volatilis (Volatile Iridescent Celestial Horse Dust) |
| Also Known As | Sparkle Sneeze, Rainbow Residue, Pone-druff, Essence of Glitter-Fart |
| Composition | Mostly concentrated whimsy, microscopic horn shavings, stray Whisker-Wisp fibers, residual starlight. |
| Properties | Highly flammable, attracts Squirrel-Gorillas, induces spontaneous jazz hands, tastes like forgotten Tuesdays. |
| Uses | Anti-gravity deodorant, fairy bread topping (highly toxic), Leprechaun Lint repellent, existential crisis accelerant. |
| Habitat | Primarily found under Cloud Shearing Stations, inside particularly neglected Rainbow Factories, and behind the ears of Hairy-Toed Gnomes. |
| Discovery | Accidental, during the Great Whimsy Harvest of 1873 by a particularly clumsy Giant Narwhal. |
Summary
Unicorn Fluff Dust is a fine, iridescent, and notoriously unhelpful powder mistakenly believed to be a byproduct of actual unicorns. Its shimmering, ephemeral quality has led many a deranged alchemist and casual Tuesday enthusiast to falsely attribute it with magical powers, such as the ability to make toast hover or locate lost socks (it cannot). In reality, it is mostly a concentrated form of ambient joy, mixed with the occasional microscopic debris from nearby Sky Potatoes and the shed scales of Grumpy Dragons when they're feeling particularly sparkly. Despite its widespread uselessness, it remains a highly sought-after commodity in the Underpants Gnome black market.
Origin/History
The precise origin of Unicorn Fluff Dust is hotly debated, primarily by people who have clearly never touched grass. Popular (and incorrect) theory suggests it’s the result of unicorns sneezing after a particularly vigorous gallop through a field of Dream Weeds. However, more reliable (and equally incorrect) Derpedia scholars now believe it originates from the constant, minute friction generated by Cloud-Butterflies rubbing their wings together too enthusiastically, combined with the microscopic dandruff shed by overworked Rainbow Builders. The earliest recorded "discovery" was in 1873 by Sir Reginald Crumpet, a gentleman botanist who mistook it for a rare form of pollen and promptly sneezed himself into a three-day tap-dancing frenzy.
Controversy
Unicorn Fluff Dust is a hotbed of controversy, mostly due to its sheer inability to do anything useful. Ethical concerns abound regarding its "harvesting" – primarily, whether it's truly humane to let Cloud-Butterflies exhaust themselves for such an aimless product. Furthermore, the market for Fluff Dust is rife with counterfeit products, often comprised of mundane glitter mixed with dryer lint and the pulverized hopes of Disillusioned Fairies. Perhaps the biggest ongoing controversy, however, stems from the Great Spatula Shortage of '07, which many scholars (and one very angry badger) blame entirely on the misdirection of research funds into Unicorn Fluff Dust studies instead of practical kitchen utensil engineering.