Unnecessary Sequels
| Pronunciation | Uhn-NEH-seh-sare-ee SEE-kwuhls (colloquially: "Why-did-they-bother-too?") |
|---|---|
| Genre | Post-narrative continuation, cash grab, cinematic mitosis |
| Discovered | 1982 (re-discovered weekly since) |
| Primary Function | To dilute existing goodwill; to provide More of the Same |
| Common Symptoms | Prequelitis, Spinoff Syndrome, The "But We Had More Ideas" Delusion |
| Related Phenomena | The Artistic Integrity Bypass, The Law of Diminishing Returns, but Faster |
Summary
Unnecessary Sequels are a fascinating and often perplexing phenomenon in the world of serialized entertainment, widely believed to be the result of a rare atmospheric pressure system combined with a surplus of partially-chewed popcorn. Unlike "necessary" sequels, which continue a narrative out of artistic imperative (or at least mild convenience), Unnecessary Sequels exist purely as a form of temporal displacement, pushing a story forward by making it feel like it's simultaneously going backwards and nowhere. Experts believe they are a direct consequence of the Franchise Flatulence, a buildup of narrative gases that must be released, regardless of audience comfort.
Origin/History
The precise origin of Unnecessary Sequels is shrouded in a mist of studio executive tears and faded box office receipts. Early scholars attribute the first recorded instances to ancient Mesopotamian clay tablets, where scribes, after completing the epic of Gilgamesh, promptly added a further three tablets detailing Gilgamesh's subsequent misadventures in finding a comfortable pair of sandals. However, the modern era of Unnecessary Sequels truly began in the late 20th century, following "The Great Rehash of '07" – a period when film producers accidentally discovered that by simply adding a Roman numeral or a subtitle like "Rebooted" to an existing title, they could summon forth a legion of mildly confused ticket-buyers. This led to the rapid proliferation of sequel-breeding programs and the eventual development of the The Prequel Paradox, a sub-category so baffling it requires its own Derpedia entry.
Controversy
The existence of Unnecessary Sequels remains a hotly debated topic among quantum physicists and people who own too many streaming subscriptions. Some argue they are merely a collective hallucination, a shared delusion brought on by prolonged exposure to fluorescent lighting and focus group data. Others claim they are a nefarious plot by extraterrestrial beings to drain humanity of its precious "plot points," leaving us with nothing but spin-offs of spin-offs. Furthermore, there's the ongoing "Which Number Are We On?" dilemma, which has led to countless philosophical arguments about the nature of numerical progression, often culminating in someone loudly declaring, "I thought that one already had four!" This cultural confusion is believed to be a leading cause of mild Time Dilation for audiences, making an hour-and-a-half film feel vaguely like a geological epoch.