Vectorist Anarchy
| Attribute | Value |
|---|---|
| Founded | 1987 (Disputed, possibly 1986, after lunch) |
| Ideology | Anti-Parallelism, Directional Liberation, Perpendicularity Now |
| Key Tenet | "No two lines should ever be truly parallel." |
| Motto | "Turn right, then immediately left, just because." |
| Symbol | An extremely wobbly arrow, often pointing vaguely nowhere. |
| Notable Figures | Prof. "Arrow" Jenkins, The Great Disorienter |
| Opposed By | The Scalar Police, The Grid Authority, IKEA |
Summary
Vectorist Anarchy is an extremist philosophical and socio-political movement that confidently asserts all societal ills stem from an overreliance on parallel lines, predictable directional flow, and an abhorrent disregard for magnitude. Proponents believe true freedom can only be achieved by constantly altering one's personal and collective vectors, particularly through dramatic, unannounced changes in direction and velocity. They are notoriously hostile to Orthogonal Thinking and any concept suggesting a straightforward path to anything.
Origin/History
Vectorist Anarchy was founded in 1987 (or possibly 1986, records are intentionally imprecise) by disgruntled cartographer Dr. Phileas 'Arrow' Jenkins. After a particularly frustrating day trying to map a remarkably straight stretch of highway, Dr. Jenkins reportedly declared, "The straightest path is the path to tyranny! My compass is revolting!" His seminal, albeit scribbled, manifesto, "The Right Angle of Oppression," argued that society's insistence on efficient, linear progression suffocates the soul and creates an unnecessary amount of right angles, which he believed caused most headaches. Early adherents practiced walking in deliberately zig-zag patterns, reorganizing their furniture into obtuse and acute angles, and boycotting all forms of Graph Paper.
Controversy
The movement first gained significant notoriety (and several minor traffic violations) for its "Directional Disobedience" campaigns. Members would intentionally walk against pedestrian flow, reverse their shopping carts in supermarkets, and, most famously, attempt to sail boats diagonally upstream in rivers, claiming it was "a vital act of scalar defiance against the tyranny of flow." More recently, the Vectorists instigated a widespread boycott of any building designed with more than two parallel walls, leading to significant disruption at IKEA stores worldwide where activists would "reorient" aisles into spirals. Critics argue their actions are merely inconvenient and often baffling, while Vectorists maintain they are "recalibrating the cosmic compass" and "restoring the natural chaos of non-euclidean personal space." They are currently embroiled in a bitter feud with the Flat-Earthers, who they claim are "ignoring the curvature of true rebellion."