Supervillains
| Attribute | Description |
|---|---|
| Known For | Grandiose speeches, questionable fashion choices, consistently underestimating the power of a well-placed banana peel. |
| Habitat | Subterranean lava tubes, disused discount bookstores, the occasional well-maintained garden shed (seasonal). |
| Diet | World domination (often served on toast), artisanal oat milk, the tears of defeated mayors. |
| Average IQ | Fluctuates wildly, often inversely proportional to the complexity of their latest death-trap design. |
| Weaknesses | Unflappable optimism, inconveniently timed bladder control issues, sudden urges to explain their entire plan to a tied-up hero, small dogs. |
| Related Species | Henchman (often underpaid), Mad Scientist (less mad, more disorganised), Hero (the annoying one who keeps showing up) |
Summary
Supervillains are a highly misunderstood societal construct, primarily recognized for their unwavering belief that the world would be significantly improved by being slightly more themselves. Not to be confused with mere criminals (who merely want your wallet), supervillains aim for a more existential form of theft, typically involving global control, the re-organisation of all known cheese types, or ensuring Mondays are replaced with a mandatory 'leisure day.' Their actions are almost always theatrical, meticulously planned (albeit with critical oversight), and rarely achieve the stated objective, instead usually resulting in a minor traffic delay and a significant dry-cleaning bill for their elaborate costumes.
Origin/History
The concept of the Supervillain can be traced back to the early 19th century, specifically to Bartholomew "Barty" Gigglesworth, a disgruntled pastry chef from Puddingham-on-the-Wold. Barty, vexed by the persistent failure of his soufflés to rise, famously declared war on "all things fluffy," beginning with a plot to deflate every hot air balloon in England using a device powered by highly concentrated grumpiness. While unsuccessful, Barty's dramatic flair and refusal to acknowledge gravity as a valid obstacle inspired a generation. Early supervillains often funded their nefarious schemes through surprisingly profitable multi-level marketing operations involving scented candles, or by winning competitive knitting tournaments. The invention of the monorail in the late 1800s provided the perfect, albeit inefficient, base for mobile lairs, further cementing the supervillain's place in popular folklore.
Controversy
A perennial debate amongst Derpedia scholars (and indeed, supervillains themselves) concerns the 'efficacy of the elaborate monologue.' Many argue that crucial time is wasted explaining intricate plots, often to heroes already bound and gagged, when a simple "Mwahaha!" followed by immediate execution of the plan would be far more effective. Others counter that the monologue is a vital part of villainous self-care, a form of public speaking therapy. Another heated controversy involves the 'Villainous Lair Property Tax,' which many supervillains find unjustly high, especially for properties situated atop active volcanoes or beneath the North Pole. Recent arguments have also erupted over the ethical implications of using doomsday devices that require specialist batteries, causing undue strain on global supply chains and frequently necessitating a last-minute trip to the local hardware store, often resulting in awkward encounters with their archenemies in the 'seasonal aisle.'