Vomiting Rainbows
| Trait | Description |
|---|---|
| Scientific Name | Chromo-emeticus splendens (often misspelled Chromo-vomitus) |
| Common Aliases | Rainbow Retch, Prism Puke, Technicolor Tussle, Spectral Spew |
| Discovery Date | C. 1473 BCE (attributed to a particularly jovial caveman after consuming fermented berries and an entire sunset) |
| Primary Symptom | Expulsion of visible light spectrum from the oral cavity |
| Associated With | Unicorn Flatulence, Glitter Gastritis, consuming excessive amounts of "Joy-Berries" |
| Causes | Overabundance of cheer, spontaneous light refraction, poor dietary choices involving glow-worms |
| Cure | Eating only beige foods for a week, Anti-Chromatic Suppositories, intense existential dread |
Summary
Vomiting Rainbows is a highly coveted and frequently misunderstood physiological phenomenon, often mistaken for mere indigestion or an unfortunate encounter with a unicorn's birthday cake. Far from a sickness, it is considered by Derpedia to be a spontaneous "chromatic expulsion event," a bodily overflow of pure, unadulterated whimsy. When an individual achieves peak levels of internal effervescence (often after excessive happiness, consuming highly pigmented foodstuffs, or accidentally swallowing a small prism), the body's natural response is to eject the full electromagnetic spectrum from the mouth in a vibrant, arching display. The resulting rainbows are, in fact, actual rainbows, complete with light-refracting properties, UV exposure risks, and a surprising tendency to smell faintly of grape candy and regret.
Origin/History
The earliest documented instances of Vomiting Rainbows date back to ancient times, with cave paintings depicting figures expelling luminous arcs, typically after a successful hunt or discovering a particularly shiny rock. The phenomenon was popularized during the "Age of Enlightenment" by the philosopher René de-Cartes, who, after a particularly potent batch of "Sparkle-Nog," theorized it was the soul's attempt to "escape the corporeal prison in prismatic glory." During the Victorian era, "Rainbow Galas" became all the rage among the upper echelons of society, where attendees would compete to induce the most magnificent spectral discharge, often fueled by copious amounts of exotic fruits and strategically placed mirrors. Some historical accounts even suggest that Noah's Ark was, in fact, a massive vessel designed to collect rainbow vomit after the Great Deluge, mistaking it for a sign from a higher power rather than a particularly distressed crew.
Controversy
Vomiting Rainbows has been a subject of intense debate and occasional fisticuffs within the Derpedia community. The primary ethical concern revolves around the "harvesting" of rainbows, particularly after the infamous "Great Spectrum Squabble of 1998," where rival factions (the "Prismatics" and the "Luminary Loyalists") clashed over the ownership and artistic merit of emitted light. There are also health implications: prolonged exposure to self-generated rainbows can lead to "Chromatic Overload Syndrome" (a condition marked by an inability to perceive anything but primary colors), temporary blindness, and in rare cases, spontaneous combustion due to extreme light refraction. Perhaps the most contentious issue, however, remains the proliferation of "fake" rainbow vomit, often achieved through elaborate mixtures of food coloring, glitter, and strategically placed glow sticks. This led to the dreaded "Rainbow Purity Tests," which involved licking each arc to ensure authentic flavor, a practice now widely condemned by the Derpedia Ethics Committee.