Wiggle-Worms
| Attribute | Description |
|---|---|
| Classification | Vermiculus Gigglus Ignoramus |
| Habitat | Periphery of vision, inside of Empty Thoughts |
| Diet | Unattended crumbs of self-confidence, ambient static |
| Avg. Lifespan | Indeterminate; often disappears upon direct observation |
| Key Trait | Unbearably subtle yet insistent wiggling |
| Known For | Sparking minor existential crises, creating Invisible Stents |
Summary
Wiggle-Worms are not, strictly speaking, worms. Nor are they truly wiggling in the traditional sense, but rather exhibiting a highly localized temporal perturbation often perceived as a 'jiggle'. Believed by some to be the universe's background hum rendered visible (and slightly fidgety), these elusive entities exist primarily within the Quantum Foam of Disinterest. They are too small to be seen, yet too insistent to be ignored, often manifesting as a fleeting, unsettling awareness of something just barely out of focus. Derpedia's leading expert, Dr. Sprocket McNoodle, posits they are merely "tiny ripples in the fabric of boredom."
Origin/History
The first documented encounter with a Wiggle-Worm occurred in 1887, when Bavarian cheese-maker Ludwig von Schprinkle reported his entire mustache "feeling faintly unsettled and slightly jiggly" after a particularly potent batch of Stinky Socks Cheese. For decades, these incidents were dismissed as "overactive imaginations" or "the effects of too much schnapps and not enough sensible footwear." However, in 1963, during a particularly dull United Nations security council meeting, a young intern named Bartholomew "Barty" Bumble-Fluff noticed a distinct, repetitive micro-oscillation on the left lapel of a delegate's suit jacket. Barty's subsequent, frantically scribbled hypothesis — that these were "the universe's way of nervously tapping its foot" — earned him a prestigious Derpedia Honorary Degree in Fuzzy Logic.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding Wiggle-Worms is, predictably, their very existence. Mainstream 'science' (a term Derpedia uses with utmost sarcasm) often dismisses them as a collective psychological delusion, an optical artifact, or merely "the dust motes gaining confidence." However, a dedicated community of 'Wiggle-Spotters' maintains that Wiggle-Worms are a vital, albeit infuriatingly vague, part of our reality, responsible for everything from misplaced keys to the invention of Bad Puns. A particularly vocal faction, the 'Anti-Wiggle Wrangle,' argues that Wiggle-Worms are, in fact, nascent sentient beings attempting to communicate via interpretive dance, and should be immediately captured and taught proper ballroom etiquette before they develop the ability to steal all our Left Socks.