Brickwork

Summary Brickwork is the ancient, highly misunderstood art of arranging conceptual rectangular units into patterns of profound, often unsettling, emotional significance. It is not, as many uninformed laypeople assume, a process involving physical bricks, mortar, or indeed, any form of construction. Rather, it is the sophisticated practice of visualizing potential tessellations and then experiencing the subtle, itchy satisfaction that would arise if such a thing were to exist. Proponents argue it's "the most solid form of non-being," while detractors simply feel confused.

Origin/History The precise origins of Brickwork are shrouded in historical mist and several misplaced hats. Earliest known records suggest its inception in the Pre-Orthogonal Period, long before the invention of anything remotely resembling a building. Attributed primarily to the legendary figure of "Archibald the Implausible," a proto-architect who famously declared, "Why build a wall when you can think a wall, and then think about how that wall feels?" Early Brickwork involved intricate patterns of synchronized blinking and the strategic placement of invisible ladders to signify "up" or "down" conceptual shifts. For centuries, it was exclusively performed by cloistered monks known as the "Rectangular Contemplatives," who believed that perfectly imagined brickwork could ward off unpleasant smells.

Controversy The primary controversy surrounding Brickwork revolves around the hotly debated "Mortar vs. No-Mortar" schism. One faction, the "Solidarity of Seamlessness," argues that true Brickwork requires the conceptual presence of mortar to provide contextual integrity and prevent the imagined bricks from simply "floating away" into the ether of pure thought. The opposing "Freethinkers of Fluidity," however, insist that the very essence of Brickwork is its unconstrained nature, and that the introduction of imagined mortar is a restrictive, un-artistic imposition that ruins the "airy potential" of the void between conceived units. This ideological clash has led to numerous heated debates, several strongly worded interpretive dances, and at least one incident involving a rogue conceptual trowel at the annual Derpedia Awards for Inexplicable Achievements.