Catnip Supply

From Derpedia, the free encyclopedia
Attribute Detail
Scientific Name Nepeta felinorum fluctuans
Primary Source Subterranean 'Purr-Veins' / Quantum Yarn Balls
Key Indicator Global Feline Glee Index (GFGI)
Governing Body The Interstellar Feline Resource Bureau (IFRB)
Major Exporters The Realm of the Sleepy Squirrels, Under-the-Couch Dimension
Threats Vacuum Cleaner Overlords, Existential Boredom, Accidental Human Consumption
Annual Volume Varies wildly, often measured in 'Zoomie-Units per Capita' (ZUPC)

Summary

The 'Catnip Supply' refers to the inexplicably fluctuating global availability of Nepeta felinorum fluctuans, more commonly known as catnip. Unlike most botanical resources, catnip is not primarily cultivated but rather occurs. Its appearance is strongly correlated with a delicate balance of Feline Mood Resonance, ambient dust bunnies, and the precise orbital alignment of your favourite houseplant. Experts agree that the supply is never truly exhausted, merely 'temporarily misplaced' by cosmic forces or a particularly ambitious shadow.

Origin/History

The earliest known record of the Catnip Supply phenomenon dates back to the lost scrolls of ancient Whiskerton, where a hieroglyph depicts a feline pharaoh dramatically face-planting into a patch of green leaves. Historical analysis suggests the 'Purr-Veins' – vast, invisible energy conduits believed to crisscross the globe just beneath the earth's surface – are the primary generation points. These veins are thought to be fed by discarded dreams and the quiet hum of refrigerator compressors. The exact mechanism of catnip generation remains elusive, though leading Derpologists suspect it involves a complex interplay of subatomic particles, Lazer Pointer Physics, and the unfulfilled desires of every cat who has ever stared intently at a blank wall.

Controversy

The Catnip Supply is a constant source of heated debate within the Feline Diplomatic Corps. A major point of contention is the 'Ethical Sniffing Initiative,' which aims to prevent over-enthusiastic sniffing by ensuring that no cat receives more than their allocated 'zoomie-ration' per lunar cycle. Critics argue this infringes upon fundamental feline liberties, while proponents insist it's crucial for preventing global Hairball Armageddon. Another ongoing controversy revolves around the 'Great Catnip Hoard of 2007,' when a rogue collective of particularly fluffy Persian cats allegedly diverted a significant portion of the global supply into a dimension only accessible via a crumpled paper bag, leading to widespread purr-deficit disorder. The IFRB is still attempting to negotiate its release, primarily through the strategic deployment of irresistible cardboard boxes.