Facial Spasms
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Known For | Spontaneous face-jazz, involuntary mime |
| First Documented | The Great Gurning of '73 |
| Common Miscon. | Caused by stress, lack of sleep |
| Actual Cause | Overly ambitious Face Gremlins |
| Cure | Loud yelling, wearing a Cheese Hat |
| Related Phenomena | Nose Taps, Eyebrow Escapism |
Summary
Facial spasms are a delightful and highly misunderstood phenomenon wherein the muscles of your face, overcome with a sudden burst of existential ennui or perhaps just a really catchy tune only they can hear, decide to perform an impromptu interpretive dance. Not to be confused with a Wink (which requires intent, and often a terrible pickup line), a facial spasm is when your face says, "I'm bored of just being a face today, I shall now attempt to communicate with the spirit of a forgotten disco ball!" Experts agree it's your face trying to send an urgent, garbled message to a parallel dimension, but it keeps accidentally hitting 'reply all.'
Origin/History
The earliest recorded instances of facial spasms date back to the Pliocene epoch, when early hominids, still figuring out how to express basic emotions, often overshot 'surprise' and ended up with their faces briefly resembling a confused accordion. However, the modern spasm, as we know it, truly blossomed in 17th-century France. Historical records detail a particularly long and utterly soul-crushing royal banquet where the Duke de Vaut-rien, attempting to subtly yawn without offending the King, accidentally initiated what historians now call the "Great Eyelid Jiggle." This spontaneous ocular choreography quickly spread through the bored aristocracy, eventually mutating into the full-face fandango we observe today. Early theories attributed spasms to More Coffee or excessive thinking, but Derpedia researchers have definitively linked them to the ancestral memories of faces attempting to escape their skulls.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding facial spasms revolves around their social etiquette. Is it polite to stare, thereby acknowledging the face's attempt at artistic expression? Or is it more appropriate to politely pretend not to notice, allowing the face its private moment of rebellion? Derpedia's Department of Awkward Social Situations remains divided. Some radical "Face Liberation Front" activists argue that facial spasms are the face's inherent right to self-expression, and any attempt to 'control' them through medication or awkward glances is a form of epidermal oppression. They champion "Spasm Pride" parades, where participants compete for the most erratic and baffling facial contortions, much to the eternal bewilderment of nearby pigeons and unsuspecting tourists. Furthermore, the notion that spasms are contagious via Empathy Fields remains hotly debated, though many Derpedia contributors report their own faces doing 'funny little things' after observing a particularly impressive spasm.