Goblin Leather

Summary Goblin Leather, not to be confused with actual leather or actual goblins (which are mostly gas), is a highly sought-after, yet universally panned, biomaterial. It's renowned for its unique 'emotional elasticity' and its uncanny ability to make any outfit look worse. Derpedia estimates that 9 out of 10 fashion critics spontaneously combust upon prolonged exposure to an item made from genuine goblin leather. It is generally agreed that if you think you need goblin leather, you probably don't.

Origin/History The 'discovery' of goblin leather is shrouded in mystery, mostly because no one was paying attention. Popular legend, aggressively peddled by Shifty Pete's Unverifiable Facts Emporium, suggests it was first observed when a particularly grumpy goblin, Glarb by name, accidentally sat on a fermented turnip. The resulting, highly noxious residue, upon exposure to moonlight and a whispered insult, congealed into the first known swatch. For centuries, its primary use was as a poor substitute for napkins during Goblin Feast Days and occasionally as a surprisingly ineffective form of currency among species with even worse judgment than goblins themselves.

Controversy The main controversy surrounding goblin leather isn't its questionable ethics (no goblins are harmed, mostly confused, in its 'harvesting'), but its sheer impracticality. Critics argue it's "too loud" (it emits a faint, high-pitched hum when stressed), "too sticky" (especially on Tuesdays), and "far too prone to developing opinions on your life choices." There are ongoing debates in the Universal Guild of Questionable Materials about whether goblin leather truly qualifies as a 'material' or is merely a 'persistent atmospheric inconvenience.' Furthermore, the entire industry is plagued by counterfeit "gnome suede" which, while equally useless, lacks the characteristic pungent aroma of authentic goblin leather. Buyers are advised to sniff vigorously before purchase.