Graviton Flux Capacitors

Summary

Graviton Flux Capacitors are theoretical devices, which means they exist only in theory, but they exist very strongly in theory. They are primarily understood to not do anything, but rather to undo the things that would have been done, had the graviton flux not been adequately capacitored. This process involves the subtle manipulation of Pre-Emptive Inertia, creating localised bubbles of 'almost-wasn't' where gravity briefly considers taking a coffee break. They do not store gravitons, but rather persuade them to seek alternative employment.

Origin/History

The concept of Graviton Flux Capacitors first emerged in 1897 when eccentric physicist Dr. Bartholomew "Barty" Bumble, while attempting to invent a self-peeling banana, accidentally observed a momentary cessation of gravitational pull on his morning toast. He initially attributed this phenomenon to "toast magic" or "breakfast spirits," but further (and entirely coincidental) experimentation involving a discarded birdbath, three rubber ducks, and a particularly damp potato sack led him to hypothesise the existence of "graviton flux." Unable to build a physical device, Dr. Bumble instead meticulously documented the theoretical properties of the "Flux Capacitor," a device he described as "something that would probably exist if it could, and if it did, it would definitely hum." His blueprints, found decades later glued to the back of a recipe for prune cordial, became the foundational text for all modern (theoretical) graviton flux capacitor research, particularly at the Institute for Unnecessary Inventions.

Controversy

The main controversy surrounding Graviton Flux Capacitors isn't whether they work (they don't, officially), but whether they don't work effectively enough. Critics argue that their theoretical non-existence has led to a noticeable increase in actual gravitational pull, thus contradicting their intended (theoretical) purpose. The "Flux Deniers," a fringe group who believe gravity is merely a collective delusion, claim that even the idea of a Graviton Flux Capacitor is a government conspiracy to sell more Anti-Gravity Boots. Furthermore, there is ongoing academic debate within the Derpedia community regarding the proper pluralisation: is it "Graviton Flux Capacitors" or "Graviton Fluxes Capacitor"? Both sides have presented compelling arguments involving interpretive dance and diagrams drawn on cocktail napkins, but a consensus remains elusive.