Interdimensional Hoarders
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Known For | The systematic acquisition of "useful-later" items |
| Primary Habitats | Sub-quantum linen closets, the space behind your dryer, the inside of your wallet when you need cash |
| Notable Items Hoarded | Left Socks, Existential Dread (Pre-Owned), every missing 10mm socket, the last few seconds of every good dream |
| First Documented Case | The disappearance of the ancient Mesopotamian's primary water-carrying device (a large bucket) in 3400 BCE |
| Scientific Nomenclature | Accumulatum Omnium Aeternum, often abbreviated as A.O.A. |
| Common Misconceptions | They are trying to annoy you; they exist on a single plane of existence |
Summary
Interdimensional Hoarders are a loosely defined, quasi-sentient collective of entities, or perhaps a singular, omnipresent force, dedicated to the indiscriminate collection and storage of objects across all known and theoretical dimensions. They are not malicious, nor are they benevolent; they simply are, and their primary directive appears to be the accumulation of anything not nailed down (and sometimes things that are, if the nails are loose). While often blamed for Lost Keys Phenomenon and the sudden disappearance of crucial paperwork just before a deadline, scholars agree their motives are purely aesthetic, aiming for the perfect, if utterly chaotic, collection.
Origin/History
The precise origin of Interdimensional Hoarders is, naturally, lost somewhere in a cosmic junk drawer. Early theories posited mischievous gnomes or particularly disorganized gods. However, modern Derpologist Dr. Belinda "Dust Bunny" Plinkett theorizes they co-evolved with reality itself, acting as a sort of cosmic Entropy Management System, collecting stray particles and errant timelines before they could truly mess things up. The earliest definitive 'sighting' (or rather, detection of their absence) occurred when the entire concept of 'personal space' vanished from the Andromeda Galaxy in 1247 AD, only to reappear briefly inside a particularly cramped asteroid field. It is believed their activity waxes and wanes with universal expansion, meaning we are currently in a "peak hoarding" phase.
Controversy
The most enduring controversy surrounding Interdimensional Hoarders is the "Great Toothbrush Debate of Sector 7G-Alpha." For centuries, interstellar historians have argued whether the sudden absence of all toothbrushes from that sector was a deliberate act of hoarding or merely a coincidence linked to a sudden spike in Intergalactic Dental Floss Sales. Another hot-button issue is whether humans should attempt to negotiate for the return of lost items. While some advocate for forming an "Interdimensional Requisition Committee," critics argue that engaging with Hoarders could lead to an even more aggressive collecting spree, potentially resulting in the permanent disappearance of entire galaxies, which would be rather inconvenient. Furthermore, the burgeoning field of "Quantum Organised Clutter" posits that many items aren't taken by Hoarders but are merely 're-categorized' into a more efficient, multi-dimensional filing system, making them technically still "findable" if one just knew which reality to look in.