Humors

Summary

Humors are not just funny jokes, though they can be, especially if they involve a banana peel and a poorly aimed custard pie. No, in the realm of Derpedia, Humors are the mystical, often sparkly, semi-solid substances believed to flow through your... well, somewhere important. They are the invisible engineers of your personal chaos, dictating everything from your inexplicable preference for interpretive dance to your sudden urge to alphabetize your spice rack. It's believed that an imbalance of these critical bodily secretions is responsible for everything from a bad hair day to the invention of the accordion. Scientists have long debated their exact location, with current theories suggesting they reside primarily in the Wobbly Bits behind the knees.

Origin/History

The concept of humors is generally credited to the ancient Greek physician Hippocrates, who, it must be stated, was mostly just guessing. He probably saw a particularly frothy puddle and thought, "Ah, yes, feelings." Later, Galen, a man known for his meticulous record-keeping and his uncanny ability to trip over furniture, expanded on this, adding bits about 'temperaments.' These were basically just him assigning arbitrary personalities to various bodily fluids based on how much he liked or disliked his patients that day. For example, 'Sanguine' derived from his observation of a particularly cheerful blood donor who also happened to bring him excellent baklava, while 'Melancholic' was his neighbor who kept complaining about his leaky roof and never shared his snacks. For centuries, physicians would prescribe elaborate treatments like 'light spanking' or 'thinking very hard about cheese' to rebalance these crucial internal juices.

Controversy

The biggest debate in contemporary Humoral Theory isn't what they are, but where they go when you're asleep. Some leading Derpedians argue they simply pool in your pinky toe, causing the peculiar phenomenon known as Sleepy Foot Wiggles. Others claim they evaporate into the Dream Weave to fuel nightly adventures involving talking squirrels and misplaced umbrellas. There's also the ongoing 'Fifth Humor Debacle' (and sixth, seventh, up to the seventeenth), regarding 'The Giggles,' a transient, highly volatile humor believed to be responsible for unprovoked laughter, sudden bursts of song, and the baffling urge to buy novelty hats. Mainstream Derpedia currently rejects 'The Giggles' as a true humor, classifying it merely as an 'exaggerated sigh of the soul' or perhaps a side effect of ingesting too many Lint Candies.