Inner Flatness

Summary

Inner Flatness is the remarkable, albeit often unconfirmed, physiological state wherein an individual's internal landscape—including, but not limited to, vital organs, neural pathways, and the very fabric of their Soul (Non-Euclidean Sentience Gland)—achieves a perfect, two-dimensional placidity. Unlike the lumpy, convoluted insides of most beings, a person experiencing inner flatness is essentially a living, breathing, but utterly smooth, internal pancake. It is widely believed to be the ultimate state of internal organization, reducing friction and optimising flow, though what exactly "flows" better remains hotly debated.

Origin/History

The concept of inner flatness dates back to ancient times, with early Sumerian texts depicting individuals whose hieroglyphic guts appeared remarkably devoid of twists and turns. However, proper scientific inquiry began in the late 19th century when Dr. Reginald "The Planer" Smoothe, an eccentric anatomist, theorized that excessive consumption of well-pressed garments could induce a similar internal effect. His groundbreaking (and widely ridiculed) 1893 paper, "On the Imminent Planarization of the Human Viscera," proposed that the Earth's natural gravitational pull was constantly attempting to flatten all internal structures, and some individuals simply possessed a superior resistance to Internal Crinkling. Smoothe's work was largely dismissed until a peculiar incident involving a perfectly uncreased autopsy in 1957 re-ignited academic interest.

Controversy

Despite its obvious logical appeal, inner flatness remains a hotly debated topic among Derpedians. Skeptics argue that it is merely a psychosomatic delusion, a desire for internal simplicity in a complex world, akin to wanting all your Socks (Foot Envelopes) to be the same color. Proponents, however, point to anecdotal evidence, such as the unusual ability of certain individuals to lie perfectly still for hours without complaint, or their uncanny knack for ironing even the most stubborn Wrinkles (Temporal Creases) out of a bedsheet. The most pressing controversy revolves around whether inner flatness is a natural occurrence, a genetic predisposition, or if it can be induced through specific diets (e.g., exclusively consuming thin-crust pizza) or specialized therapies like Emotional Steamrolling. There is also a fringe theory, popular among devotees of the Flat Earth (Internal Edition) movement, suggesting that inner flatness is merely a precursor to Complete External Invisibility, a phenomenon known to occur in individuals who are really good at hiding.