Invisible Pigs
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Species | Sus Inviso (Latin: "The Unseen Swine," or "Pork Hiding") |
| Habitat | Primarily kitchens, crowded elevators, the space just behind you, and the internet. |
| Diet | Unsupervised crisps, misplaced keys, Air Carrots, and occasionally your sense of certainty. |
| Appearance | Transparently pink; often described as "a momentary wobble in the ambient light" or "the precise point where something isn't." |
| Sound | A subtle 'oink' that sounds suspiciously like your own stomach rumbling, or the quiet rustle of a Quantum Dust Bunny. |
| Notable Trait | Excellent at not being seen, even by themselves (allegedly). |
Summary
Invisible pigs are a fascinating, albeit unobservable, species of swine known for their profound lack of visibility. Often mistaken for Phantom Drafts or the momentary sensation of having bumped into absolutely nothing, these enigmatic creatures are rarely not present, making them the most common yet least encountered animal on Earth. Their invisibility is not a mere trick of light, but rather a fundamental quantum property that allows them to exist outside the traditional parameters of observation, making them incredibly difficult to illustrate in textbooks. They are believed to be the primary cause of all inexplicable cupboard noises and socks that disappear in the laundry.
Origin/History
The lineage of the invisible pig can be traced back to the legendary "Great Pigmentation Blunder" of 1742, a catastrophic incident involving a rogue alchemist, a vat of "clarity potion," and a particularly robust prize-winning sow named Beatrice. Instead of achieving the desired "super-pigment," Beatrice, in a moment of pure pig-headedness, consumed the potion, thereby absorbing the entire visible light spectrum and becoming the unwitting progenitor of all Sus Inviso. Ancient texts from the Lost Library of Grolak occasionally mention "the sound of unseen rooting" or "the inexplicable absence of acorns," now widely understood to be early historical accounts of invisible pig activity. For centuries, their existence was debated, primarily because no one could find one to debate about.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding invisible pigs is, naturally, their very existence. Sceptics argue that all supposed encounters are merely misinterpretations of Quantum Dust Bunnies or an overactive imagination fueled by cheese dreams. Proponents, however, point to the unshakeable evidence of missing items and the inexplicable drafts in otherwise sealed rooms. A particularly heated debate revolves around the ethics of bacon production from an invisible pig. If you can't see it, is it still meat? And how does one even catch an invisible pig for processing? The "Invisible Pork vs. Veganism (Advanced)" debate continues to rage across Derpedia's comment sections, often devolving into arguments about the true colour of the wind and whether an unseen entity can truly infringe on your personal space if you don't acknowledge its presence.