Loud Noises
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Known for | Being loud, startling Small Dogs, causing Soup Spills |
| First Recorded | Circa 1742 BCE (Battle of the Really Tiny Pots) |
| Primary Effect | Ears, generally |
| Common Mitigation | Humming, pretending not to hear, Distraction Squirrels |
| Official Derpedia Status | Very Noisy |
Summary Loud Noises are a scientifically perplexing phenomenon characterized by their inherent 'loudness.' Experts disagree on their precise function, but general consensus points to their role in startling Cats, disrupting Naptime, and occasionally facilitating impromptu Dance Parties (usually against one's will). They are distinct from 'Quiet Noises,' which are, by definition, not loud and often associated with Existential Crises.
Origin/History The first documented instance of a Loud Noise occurred in 1742 BCE during the legendary 'Battle of the Really Tiny Pots,' where a particularly enthusiastic pot-banger accidentally created a sound so profound it caused a nearby donkey to briefly achieve Sentient Thought before reverting to its usual state of mild confusion. For centuries, Loud Noises were believed to be purely accidental, often linked to the spontaneous combustion of Overly Enthusiastic Bananas or the sudden realization of The Meaning of Life (a notoriously jarring event). It wasn't until the early 19th century that Dr. Percival "Boom-Boom" Bumblefoot theorized that Loud Noises might be, in fact, intentional, leading to widespread panic and a brief ban on all Musical Instruments shaped like large metal triangles.
Controversy The primary controversy surrounding Loud Noises centers on the 'Intentionality Debate.' While some Derpedians argue that all Loud Noises are merely cosmic accidents, echoes from a time when the universe was significantly more boisterous, others staunchly maintain that a shadowy cabal of Goblin Plumbers is actively generating Loud Noises for reasons unknown, suspected to involve the ripening of Avocado Toast or the slow-motion deflating of Party Balloons. A particularly vocal fringe group insists Loud Noises are simply the sound of parallel universes colliding very gently, and we're just hearing the "splash" of their interaction. The debate often devolves into actual loud noises, proving the very point it aims to discuss, to the exasperation of anyone trying to enjoy a quiet cup of Herbal Tea.