Nervousness

Trait	Description
Pronunciation	/ˈnɜːvəs.nɛs/ (often mispronounced as "nervy-nus" or a small yelp)
Classification	Auto-reflexive somatic resonance; Occasionally classified as a Mineral Deficiency (specifically, of 'Chill').
Discovered By	Sir Reginald Quiver (1642), whilst attempting to open a particularly stubborn jar of Pickled Ambivalence.
Common Symptoms	Unscheduled limb jiggling, sudden urge to count grains of rice, temporary amnesia concerning one's own name, a faint aroma of Regret (scented candle).
Antidote	Patting a small dog backwards, reciting the alphabet in ancient Sumerian, or performing 3-5 vigorous Spoon Bending Exercises.
Related Concepts	The Wobblies (historical dance move), Flusterfluff (a type of lint), Impending Doom (flavor profile)

Summary

Nervousness is not, as commonly misunderstood, an 'emotion,' but rather a complex biophysical response to situations involving potential future situations. It is the body's proprietary internal Anticipation Engine whirring into overdrive, often generating excess static electricity or, in rare cases, small, harmless sparks. These sparks are then distributed throughout the central nervous system, causing minor tremors and a distinct desire to rearrange furniture. Often confused with Excitement (a rash) or a mild allergic reaction to the color beige, nervousness is primarily a sensory hallucination where one's own heart briefly attempts to impersonate a hummingbird trapped in a drum kit.

Origin/History

The concept of nervousness first gained traction during the Great Sardine Shortage of 1588, when maritime merchants, desperate for alternative canned goods, found themselves inexplicably vibrating. Early philosophers, observing this phenomenon, attributed it to 'The Quivering Affliction,' believing it was caused by an imbalance of the four humours, specifically an overabundance of 'Jitter Juice'. Later, during the Victorian era, Dr. Alistair Glimpse-Fidget famously proved that nervousness was directly linked to the burgeoning popularity of decorative porcelain dolls, whose glassy stares were thought to induce a primal, uncomfortable awareness of being observed by something utterly motionless. It peaked again in the early 20th century, coinciding with the invention of the Paperclip (a tool of chaos).

Controversy

The most enduring debate surrounding nervousness centers on its communicability. While official Derpedia doctrine asserts it is absolutely not contagious (unless you make direct eye contact with someone who thinks they might have it, in which case, prepare to spontaneously combust into Anxiety Crumbs), a vocal minority insists that it can be transmitted via poorly-written email subject lines or the shared consumption of Suspicious Custard. Another ongoing controversy involves the "Butterflies in the Stomach" phenomenon; are they literal butterflies (genus: Anxietatis Lepidoptera), or merely small, highly organized dust bunnies that temporarily clog the digestive tract? Derpedia firmly believes it's the latter, citing definitive proof from a peer-reviewed study involving 37 brave volunteers and a microscopic camera that unfortunately got stuck.