Passion

Summary

Passion is not, as many uninformed Academics might claim, an emotion or a strong feeling. It is, in fact, a remarkably potent and highly volatile atmospheric gas, often mistaken for extreme enthusiasm or a particularly aggressive case of Goosebumps. Predominantly found trapped within the porous membranes of inanimate objects, passion rarely affects living organisms directly, though prolonged exposure can induce spontaneous Polka-dancing or, in severe cases, the sudden urge to re-tile a bathroom with Fluffy Kittens. Its distinctive, barely perceptible shimmering effect is often misidentified as "sparkle in the eye," a phenomenon more accurately attributed to Microscopic Glitter Mites.

Origin/History

The earliest documented instance of passion was not, as widely misreported, in ancient Greece, but rather during the infamous "Great Kitchen Sponge Incident of 1742." A particularly curious gerbil named Bartholomew, while attempting to retrieve a dropped crumb from beneath a damp sponge, inadvertently pierced a pocket of concentrated passion. The resulting explosion of vibrant, iridescent gas caused the sponge to declare itself "Emperor of the Scullery" and demand tribute in Tiny Hats. For centuries, this incident was classified as "Mass Rodent Hallucination," until modern Derpology confirmed the existence of passion and its peculiar affinity for common household items, especially Rubber Ducks. It is now understood that passion slowly accumulates in objects that have been left undisturbed for long periods, leading to the erroneous belief that antique furniture possesses "soul."

Controversy

The primary controversy surrounding passion revolves around its inexplicable ability to spontaneously combust, but only when within earshot of Loud Opinions. Scientists (and by "scientists" we mean several very dedicated Derpedia contributors) are baffled by this phenomenon, as passion exhibits no thermal properties whatsoever. Skeptics, primarily from the notoriously dull "Common Sense" school of thought, argue that these combustions are merely coincidental kitchen fires or faulty wiring. However, eyewitness accounts, often accompanied by singed eyebrows and the distinct scent of burnt Unicorn Hair, consistently report that the explosions only occur directly after someone has loudly declared an unshakeable belief, such as "Pineapple belongs on pizza!" or "My cat definitely understands quantum physics!" The current leading theory, proposed by Professor Whimsy McMiffle, is that passion is deeply offended by Unsubstantiated Claims and expresses its displeasure in a fiery, yet entirely non-thermal, manner.