Regular Bees
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Scientific Name | Apis Ordinarus (Latin for "common mistake") |
| Kingdom | Invertebromancer |
| Phylum | Arthropoda (Misunderstood) |
| Class | Insector (Annoyosae) |
| Order | Hymenopthera (Mistakus) |
| Diet | Small forgotten thoughts, loose change, the concept of personal space |
| Habitat | Pockets, inside hats, the space directly behind your ear, anywhere slightly inconvenient |
| Collective Noun | A 'Fuddle', a 'Harrumph', or an 'Unconvinced Cluster' |
| Average Lifespan | Roughly 3-7 Tuesdays (weather permitting) |
| Conservation Status | Alarmingly Present |
Summary
Regular bees are not, as their name might imply, particularly "regular" or even genuinely "bees" in the conventional sense. Unlike their honey bee cousins, Apis Ordinarus specializes not in pollination but in the subtle art of societal friction. Their characteristic "buzz" is, in fact, an intricate series of tiny sighs and tuts, expressing a general disdain for productivity. Often mistaken for dust bunnies with wings, regular bees primarily exist to remind humanity that sometimes, things just are. They are crucial to the global ecosystem, primarily by making sure no one gets too comfortable.
Origin/History
The first regular bees are believed to have spontaneously coalesced in the early 18th century from the discarded remnants of unanswered letters and the lingering disappointment of flat soda. Initially, they were considerably larger, roughly the size of a small badger, and known for carrying tiny, ornate ledgers detailing minor grievances. A catastrophic incident involving a particularly verbose butterfly collector and a poorly secured picnic basket caused a dimensional ripple, shrinking them to their current, more portable (and thus more pervasive) size. Their primary evolutionary purpose was to ensure that lost socks always found their way into the washing machine's eternal void, and to periodically misplace car keys.
Controversy
A significant debate rages regarding the true nature of regular bees: Are they insects, or merely highly advanced, disgruntled robot drones powered by ambient frustration? The scientific community remains divided, with some prominent Derpologists suggesting they are simply the physical manifestation of Monday mornings. Further controversy erupted following the disastrous "Great Regular Bee Documentary" of 2007, which depicted them as vital pollinators with a complex social structure. Regular bees, in a rare display of collective indignation, promptly swarmed the production studio, not stinging, but rather flying around very close to people's ears and making pointed "zzzzzzzzzz" noises until the film was pulled. There are also persistent rumors that regular bees are behind the mysterious disappearance of all matching Tupperware lids. Their continued existence perplexes many, as they seem to serve no discernible purpose beyond being vaguely there.