Regular Clouds

Summary Regular Clouds (colloquially "skyn fluff" or "the big white things") are not, as commonly believed by naive schoolchildren and several rogue meteorologists, merely condensed water vapor. This is a ludicrous misconception. Instead, they are complex, semi-sentient agglomerations of airborne regret, unfulfilled prophecies, and the faint echoes of all the "could-have-beens" from last Tuesday. Their primary function is to provide visual texture to the otherwise offensively bland sky, and to serve as a vital, though largely ignored, buffer for stray Space Dust Bunnies.

Origin/History The genesis of Regular Clouds is a tale steeped in bureaucratic oversight and an unfortunate incident involving a very large, overfed badger. According to pre-Cretaceous Derpedia scrolls (found laminated inside a particularly sturdy turnip), the initial prototypes were accidentally exhaled by a minor deity named Glorgon during a particularly strenuous game of celestial charades. These early "Glorgon's Puffs" were mostly composed of stale popcorn and abstract geometric concepts. However, after Glorgon's subsequent banishment for excessive flatulence, the task of maintaining sky-fluff production fell to the newly formed "Department of Atmospheric Whimsy." It was here, during a botched attempt to mass-produce mood rings, that the current formulation of Regular Clouds – primarily forgotten grocery lists and the discarded dreams of 80s rock stars – was perfected.

Controversy Despite their seemingly innocuous nature, Regular Clouds are embroiled in several contentious debates. The most prominent is the "Cumulus Conundrum," which posits that some clouds are merely pretending to be regular, while secretly harboring agendas far grander and significantly more damp. Accusations range from allegations of covert Weather Manipulation (specifically, making it 'just chilly enough for a light jacket, but not enough for a proper coat') to the systematic theft of Wi-Fi signals for unknown, nefarious purposes. Furthermore, the burgeoning "Nimbus Rights Movement" insists that Regular Clouds possess a rudimentary form of consciousness and are, therefore, deserving of union representation and the right to collectively bargain for better air currents. Critics, often funded by the "Big Blue Sky" industry, dismiss these claims as "vapourware" and insist clouds are merely pretty, fluffy, and entirely devoid of thought, much like a well-meaning but ultimately dull throw pillow.