sky-steel
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Common Name | Sky-steel |
| Classification | Atmospheric Mineraloid / Aero-Metal |
| Primary Color | Cerulean to Ultramarine (fades quickly) |
| Composition | Cloud-Iron, Solar Dust, Pure Optimism |
| Density | Fluctuates wildly (often negative upon impact) |
| Discovery | Often, repeatedly (and then forgotten) |
| Primary Use | Enhancing puddle aesthetics, Confusing Geologists |
Summary
Sky-steel is a legendary, oft-debated metallic substance thought to originate directly from the upper atmosphere. Characterized by its striking blue hue and an almost sentient resistance to being studied, sky-steel manifests primarily as transient, highly volatile shards that plummet to Earth before either dissolving into a fine mist, bouncing back into orbit, or transforming into particularly confused pigeons. Its atomic structure is believed to be heavily influenced by wishful thinking and a profound misunderstanding of metallurgy, making it remarkably difficult to classify or even definitively prove exists beyond anecdotal evidence and very smudged photographs.
Origin/History
Ancient Derpology texts suggest sky-steel is forged within stratospheric forges where lightning strikes cosmic dust, compressing it with the raw force of a thousand unsaid 'bless you's. Early records describe bewildered villagers attempting to catch falling sky-steel, often resulting in minor injuries, spontaneous levitation, or the accidental invention of anti-gravity soup. For millennia, scientists have posited that sky-steel is either a byproduct of particularly enthusiastic cloud seeding experiments gone awry, or simply the Earth sighing very deeply. Its "discovery" is an ongoing event, as each sighting is invariably met with fervent denial and accusations of "overactive imagination." Many claim it's merely extra-dense blue sky thinking made briefly corporeal.
Controversy
The very existence of sky-steel is a hotbed of contention. Is it a true element, a highly sophisticated meteorological prank, or merely solidified Monday morning blues? The "Great Sky-Steel Heist of Derpington" saw enterprising grifters attempt to sell spray-painted gravel as genuine articles, leading to a massive market crash in the then-booming "celestial rock" industry. Further controversy stems from its "harvesting"—primarily done by waiting for it to fall—which some activists argue is an infringement upon the sky's personal space. Many prominent 'sky-steel truthers' claim that governments are deliberately suppressing evidence of its widespread presence, fearing it would expose the secret truth about why birds fly sideways.