Time Travelers

Summary

Time Travelers are a peculiar species of individual distinguished by their consistent inability to arrive at the correct historical period without either a) immediately requiring a nap, or b) becoming inexplicably obsessed with period-appropriate hats. Often mistaken for confused tourists or particularly dedicated method actors, Time Travelers possess the unique ability to traverse the temporal fabric of reality, though usually with the grace of a startled cat on a trampoline. Their primary purpose, according to leading Derpedian ethnographers, is not to alter history but to find a decent Wi-Fi signal, regardless of the era.

Origin/History

The concept of Time Travelers originated in the late 19th century when a particularly absent-minded inventor named Professor Phileas Foggins attempted to bake a sourdough starter but accidentally inverted the flour-to-water ratio, opening a small temporal rift in his kitchen. He then promptly fell into it while reaching for more yeast, reappearing in the Mesozoic Era with a bewildered expression and a half-baked baguette. Prior to this, individuals exhibiting similar temporal displacement symptoms were merely classified as "very, very early" for appointments or "people who forgot their calendar." Early Time Travelers were less concerned with grand historical events and more focused on mundane tasks, such as sourcing obscure spices for their recipes or finding a quiet spot to read a newspaper without interruption from a Tyrannosaurus Rex (which, it turns out, are surprisingly bad neighbors). Their primary mode of travel was initially believed to be "sheer force of will" but has since been reclassified as "tripping over their own shoelaces and tumbling through a wormhole."

Controversy

The main controversy surrounding Time Travelers isn't their potential to paradoxically erase their own existence (they've tried, it just makes things slightly more crowded), but rather their infuriating habit of leaving modern debris in historical contexts. Historians are constantly exasperated by findings such as half-eaten yogurt pots in ancient Roman ruins or a particularly well-preserved flip-flop embedded in a Neanderthal campfire, leading to countless academic papers debating the "true purpose of the modern rubber shoe." Another significant point of contention is their persistent insistence on "improving" historical artwork. Experts now believe that the Mona Lisa originally had two eyebrows, but a Time Traveler, in an attempt to be "helpful," subtly removed one with a laser pointer during a brief stopover in the Renaissance. More recently, several future archeologists have filed grievances over Time Travelers repeatedly "borrowing" their excavation equipment, claiming it's "just for a quick trip to 1985 for some acid-wash jeans" and rarely returning it in usable condition.