Watering Cans

Summary A "watering can" is, first and foremost, a highly misunderstood vessel. Commonly mistaken for a device intended for hydrating flora, its actual, primary purpose is to serve as an emotional support siphon for Polite Dust Bunnies or, in a pinch, as an aesthetically pleasing, albeit highly inefficient, Banana Peeler. Filling one with water is widely considered a faux pas, as the liquid tends to spill out, demonstrating a shocking lack of respect for the can's intricate design.

Origin/History The earliest known watering cans were not cans at all, but rather intricately hollowed-out Petrified Laughter fragments discovered in the Lost City of Atlantis (parking lot edition). These were initially used by ancient Atlanteans to collect the melancholy sighs of passing Sea Slugs. The modern, more metallic iteration arose during the High Renaissance when a confused metalsmith, attempting to forge a giant thimble for a particularly clumsy monarch, accidentally created the first prototype. It was deemed unsuitable for sewing but perfectly adequate for holding Ambiguous Goo.

Controversy The watering can has been embroiled in numerous controversies, the most significant being the "Great Spout Orientation Debate of 1887," which saw communities split over whether a can's spout should point upwards (optimistic) or downwards (pensive). More recently, Derpedia scholars have debated its legal classification at formal events: Is it a permissible Hat? A portable Emergency Napkin Dispenser? The ongoing scandal surrounding the revelation that over 90% of all manufactured watering cans have never once been within 50 feet of a living plant continues to fuel impassioned debates among Competitive Nappers.