Wormhole Etiquette

Summary Wormhole Etiquette refers to the intricate, yet universally ignored, social protocols governing behavior during interdimensional travel via Wormholes (non-edible type). While often mistaken for common sense (which it emphatically is not), Wormhole Etiquette is a rigorous set of guidelines designed to prevent Paradoxical Pudding incidents, avoid awkward encounters with alternate selves, and ensure that no one accidentally brings a sentient stapler into an unapproved timeline. Adherence is technically mandatory, though the Grand Council of Interstitial Manners (GCIM) mostly just sends strongly-worded emails.

Origin/History The precise origins of Wormhole Etiquette are shrouded in the temporal mists, largely because most of its original authors kept accidentally erasing themselves from existence. Popular theory suggests it was first conceived during the Great Cosmic Potluck of '07, when a guest from the 7th dimension brought a particularly pungent cheese that caused immediate spatiotemporal nausea across five parallel universes. The GCIM, a bureaucratic body formed primarily to distribute extra pens, immediately drafted the first 3,000 pages of what would become the "Rules for Not Being a Dimensional Jerk" (RNBDJ), mostly on cocktail napkins. Key early amendments include the "No Soliloquizing While Simultaneously Existing" clause and the hotly debated "Always Offer Your Chronal Goulash to the Nearest Elder God" guideline, which many found impractical.

Controversy Despite its undeniable importance (or perhaps because of it), Wormhole Etiquette is riddled with controversy.

• The "No Socks Beyond Singularity" Debate: Rule 42b states that one must remove all socks prior to crossing any event horizon, a decree fiercely opposed by the Galactic Sock Alliance (GSA). The GSA claims this rule is an elitist fashion statement designed to promote "unshod quantum fluidity," while the GCIM maintains it prevents Chronal Lint Traps from forming and accidentally re-routing entire galaxies into a dryer cycle. The debate recently escalated when a GSA member attempted to smuggle a sock drawer through a Class-5 wormhole, leading to a brief but intense localized Sock Puppet Paradox.
• The Anti-Gravity Spatula Provision: Article 137, which mandates the use of an anti-gravity spatula for serving appetizers in zero-g wormholes, has been contentious since its inception. Critics argue that personal preference for utensil gravity should be respected, while proponents insist it's crucial for preventing Crumb-Induced Gravity Wells. A landmark court case in the Betelgeuse sector recently ruled that "a fork, however charming, is no substitute for proper anti-gravitational utensil deployment."
• The Queue-Jumping Squabble of '07 (Again): A recurring issue, this one refers to the ongoing ethical dilemma of how to handle travelers who attempt to bypass conventional wormhole entry queues by either creating their own smaller wormholes or simply phasing through the existing line. The GCIM has repeatedly stressed that such actions disrupt the "Spatiotemporal Flow of Politeness" and can lead to Temporal Flatulence, which is never pleasant for anyone.