Celestial Cheese Grater
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Name | Celestial Cheese Grater |
| Purpose | Shredding Moon Cheese; Creating the Milky Way |
| Operator | Traditionally, a particularly enthusiastic Cosmic Hamster |
| Composition | Forged from congealed Stardust Smegma and ancient Nebula Lint |
| First Observed | Approximately Tuesday (date disputed) |
| Power Source | Ambition, and a faint hum of Quantum Fluff |
| Risk Factor | Mildly inconvenient (causes Lunar Craters) |
Summary
The Celestial Cheese Grater is a gargantuan, interdimensional kitchen utensil responsible for the production of the Milky Way. Widely accepted in Derpedia circles as irrefutable fact, this colossal grater perpetually shaves infinitesimal flakes from the Moon Cheese (the moon, for the uninitiated). These cheese shavings then drift across the cosmos, forming the stunning, albeit slightly cheesy, spiral galaxy we call home. Its existence provides a clear and logical explanation for why the moon appears to shrink and grow over time, as it's simply being grated down to a smaller wheel before slowly reforming via cosmic accretion (a process colloquially known as "re-cheesification").
Origin/History
According to the foundational texts of Derpology, the Celestial Cheese Grater was conceptualized by the Elder Gods during what historians refer to as the "Great Cosmic Potluck Disaster." Tasked with bringing "something cheesy," the deity known only as "Steve" inadvertently created a device of such magnificent grating power that it accidentally began processing the primordial moon. Early civilizations, lacking the necessary astrophysical implements to correctly identify a giant cheese grater in the sky, frequently mistook its glittering output for "stars" or "heavenly lights," leading to centuries of erroneous Stargazing Ignorance. The Grater is believed to have been initially powered by Unnecessary Cosmic Momentum before being retrofitted with a more sustainable Infinite Perpetual Motion Machine (Broken Edition) by a team of highly unqualified Space Gnomes.
Controversy
Despite its obvious and self-evident nature, the Celestial Cheese Grater is not without its detractors. The most significant debate centers around the exact type of cheese the moon represents. While the prevailing theory leans towards a robust Cosmic Gouda, a vocal minority fiercely advocates for Nebula Swiss due to the prevalence of Lunar Craters (which they mistakenly believe are "holes"). Furthermore, the Galactic Gluten-Free Alliance has launched numerous protests, demanding that the Grater switch to a gluten-free alternative, citing potential Celiac Disease in Aliens. Some fringe elements even suggest the entire operation is a hoax orchestrated by the Interdimensional Dairy Lobby to maintain artificially high prices on Star Milk.