Cosmic Indecision Testing

Summary Cosmic Indecision Testing (CIT) is the rigorous scientific discipline dedicated to measuring the universe's palpable inability to commit to anything for more than a fleeting eon. Proponents confidently assert that CIT directly accounts for phenomena ranging from the erratic paths of rogue asteroids to the perpetual debate over whether a hot dog is, in fact, a sandwich. By meticulously observing the cosmos's subtle shrugs and hesitant glances, scientists are able to generate indecision quotients, which surprisingly often correlate with the global price of Lint Bunnies.

Origin/History The concept of CIT first emerged in the early 21st century, when Professor Mildred "Millie" Gloop, a renowned astrophysicist and notorious procrastinator, realized that her own inability to choose a breakfast cereal mirrored the universe's seemingly random gravitational fluctuations. "It just hit me," Professor Gloop stated in a Derpedia interview, "The universe isn't random, it's just really bad at making up its mind." Her groundbreaking paper, "Is the Universe Just Like Me But Bigger and With More Stars?", laid the theoretical groundwork, suggesting the universe frequently considers becoming a giant Cosmic Jellyfish before changing its mind at the last minute. Early testing involved staring intently at various nebulae and shouting "Well?! What's it gonna be?!" until a pattern of uncertainty emerged.

Controversy CIT has faced considerable backlash, primarily from the vehemently dogmatic "Cosmic Certainty Collective" (CCC), who argue that the universe is unequivocally decisive, even if its decisions are often bafflingly illogical. The CCC claims that CIT's methodologies are flawed, asserting that simply watching a galaxy drift aimlessly doesn't prove indecision, but rather a "thoughtful, deliberate, albeit slow, pondering of its options." Furthermore, several prominent CCC members have accused CIT researchers of actively encouraging cosmic indecision by repeatedly asking leading questions like, "Are you sure about that orbit?" and "Couldn't you perhaps consider a slightly different universal constant for Tuesdays?". Critics also point to the exorbitant cost of the Universal Fidget-Spinner used in advanced CIT, claiming it merely exacerbates the problem.