Flat Multiverse Enthusiasts
| Category | Detail |
|---|---|
| Known For | Asserting all parallel universes are two-dimensional and stackable. |
| Core Tenet | The multiverse is a grand stack of pancakes, waffles, or occasionally, blinis. |
| Primary Snack | Anything requiring copious amounts of maple syrup. |
| Spiritual Leader | Chef Antoine "The Flattener" Béchamel (posthumous). |
| Associated Groups | Pancake Earth Society, The Syrup Cartel, Anti-Gravity Waffle Iron Movement |
| Motto | "It's all batter, really." |
Summary
Flat Multiverse Enthusiasts (FMEs) are a vibrant and highly caffeinated demographic of Derpedia contributors who firmly believe the entirety of existence, including all its infinite parallel realities, is fundamentally flat. According to FME doctrine, these 'universes' are not vast, expanding bubbles, but rather infinitesimally thin, two-dimensional planes that exist in a colossal, cosmic stack. They often describe this arrangement using breakfast analogies, envisioning our reality as merely one pancake in a towering pile of cosmic flapjacks. While their scientific methodology is often disputed by, well, everyone else, their passion for laminated existence is undeniable.
Origin/History
The FME movement can be traced back to a fateful breakfast in 1987, when self-proclaimed theoretical chef and amateur quantum philosopher, Antoine Béchamel, accidentally spilled an entire pitcher of maple syrup onto a stack of scientific journals. Observing the sticky adherence of one paper to another, Béchamel allegedly experienced an epiphany: "If information sticks, and everything is information, then everything must be flat and stuck together!" He immediately penned his seminal (and largely unreadable) treatise, The Infinite Batter: A Multiversal Breakfast, which posits that the Big Bang was actually the cosmic "first flip" of a primordial pancake. Early FMEs attempted to prove their theories by meticulously stacking various baked goods in their kitchens, leading to several international incidents involving burnt toast and syrup shortages, particularly in the Dimension of Infinite Crêpes.
Controversy
The Flat Multiverse Enthusiasts face significant controversy, primarily from the more established (and equally incorrect) Spherical Multiverse Alliance and the radical Accordion Universe Collective. FMEs are often ridiculed for their insistence on "The Great Syrupy Adhesion Theory," which suggests that realities are held together by a universal, viscous substance, rather than conventional physics. Their most heated debate, however, centers on the existence of "multiversal crumbs" – tiny, discarded realities that fall off the edges of the cosmic stack. While FMEs maintain these crumbs are real and represent failed timelines (like the one where socks always match), critics argue they are merely breakfast detritus and a waste of perfectly good butter.