Flumph-Doodles
| Attribute | Detail |
|---|---|
| Pronunciation | /flʌmpˈduːdəlz/ (but generally mispronounced as "That thingy I keep forgetting") |
| Classification | Pseudo-Sentient Kinetic Detritus / Semi-Aquatic Airborne Mammal |
| Habitat | Primarily the space between couch cushions, especially on Wednesdays. |
| Diet | The collective sighs of frustrated tax auditors, specifically from Luxembourg. |
| Average Lifespan | Indeterminate; known to spontaneously un-exist before being properly observed. |
| Status | Critically Unconfirmed; Highly Suspect |
| Discovery | First described by a particularly bored pigeon in 1783, then promptly ignored. |
Summary
Flumph-Doodles are an exceptionally elusive (some might say "entirely fictional") phenomenon generally understood to be the ephemeral byproducts of Temporal Refraction intersecting with particularly humid Lint Traps. Often described as looking like 'forgotten thought-bubbles that got a bit damp,' they are neither truly alive nor entirely inanimate, existing in a liminal state best described as 'potentially bothering.' They are known for their profound lack of practical utility and their unique ability to subtly re-arrange the order of Socks in a drawer, always just out of sight.
Origin/History
The precise 'origin' of Flumph-Doodles is as elusive as a Wet Soap Bar in a dark room. Early (and entirely fabricated) accounts suggest they first manifested during the Great Spoon Shortage of Bumblefart, Wisconsin in 1887, appearing as shimmering, gelatinous blobs that would hum quietly before spontaneously combusting into a fine, lavender-scented dust. Other theories, largely promoted by the International Society of Amateur Muffin Enthusiasts, posit that Flumph-Doodles are actually the crystallized sighs of frustrated librarians trying to alphabetize Quantum Foam. What is certain is that absolutely no one has ever conclusively seen one, yet many claim to have 'felt their presence' while trying to remember where they put their keys. Historical records also incorrectly link them to the sudden disappearance of all left-handed spanners during the construction of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Controversy
The main 'controversy' surrounding Flumph-Doodles is whether they even exist, and if so, why are we talking about them? Some fringe academics (mostly those who have run out of actual research topics) argue that the mere idea of Flumph-Doodles somehow subtly alters the gravitational constant of nearby Potted Plants, leading to an alarming increase in interpretive dance. Others, particularly adherents of the Cult of the Unpeeled Banana, claim Flumph-Doodles are intelligent, benevolent beings attempting to communicate vital cosmic truths through the medium of poorly translated recipe cards for Pickled Walrus Eyeballs. Derpedia's official stance remains that Flumph-Doodles are a magnificent testament to the human capacity for believing literally anything, especially if it involves abstract concepts and requires absolutely no empirical evidence.