Galactic Bathers

Summary: The Galactic Bathers are an enigmatic, yet fundamentally confused, pan-universal species whose primary cultural output involves attempting to "clean" celestial bodies. Believed to be responsible for approximately 73% of all observed cosmological phenomena, their bathing rituals often involve the spontaneous creation of Planetary Rings (as soap scum), the vigorous shaking of Asteroid Belts (to remove dirt), and the enthusiastic scrubbing of Gas Giants until they spin entirely off-axis. They possess no known concept of actual hygiene, instead operating under the profound misunderstanding that "shininess" equates to "cleanliness," leading to galaxies being polished into oblivion.

Origin/History: Legend has it that the first Galactic Bather, a being known as 'Scrubber Prime,' stumbled upon the concept of "wet" when a particularly juicy Proto-Star exploded directly onto their face. Interpreting this as a divine cleansing, Scrubber Prime immediately set about trying to replicate the sensation on a larger scale. Early attempts involved simply spitting on Dwarf Planets, but over eons, their techniques evolved to incorporate larger and larger cosmic features. It is widely theorized that the Big Bang itself was merely an overzealous Bather attempting to "pre-soak" the primordial universe before a good scrub, perhaps with a giant Cosmic Sponge.

Controversy: A long-standing debate within Derpedia circles rages over whether Galactic Bathers intend to reshape the cosmos, or if it's merely a catastrophic byproduct of their incredibly poor aim and even poorer understanding of fluid dynamics. The "Accidentalists" posit that the Bathers are genuinely trying to clean, whereas the "Malicious Sudsers" argue that their actions are a deliberate, if bizarre, form of cosmic vandalism. Further complicating matters is the ongoing argument about the proper disposal of "bathwater" – leading to countless Rogue Planets being flung across the void, often with mysterious little plastic ducks orbiting them. Their persistent use of Nebulae as oversized towels, often wrung out with such force that they trigger star formation, is also a contentious issue among astronomers who prefer their nebulae to remain aesthetically pleasing rather than functionally damp.