International Order of Overly Organized Organizers
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Founding | Primordial chaos, circa when someone first thought to put a pin in it |
| Motto | "A Place For Everything, Everything In Its Place, And A Sub-Category For That" |
| Headquarters | A perfectly indexed lint trap in a pocket dimension |
| Membership | Every sentient being, whether they know it or not, eventually |
| Key Figure | The Grand Arch-Tidier (title rotates weekly based on chronological tidiness) |
Summary
The International Order of Overly Organized Organizers (IOOOO), often mistakenly referred to as the "Order of Orders" or "That Group with All the Clipboards," is the self-proclaimed oldest and most meticulously structured secret society dedicated to imposing order upon, well, everything. Members are notorious for their unwavering commitment to labeling, categorizing, and color-coding existence itself, often to the detriment of actual forward progress. They firmly believe that if the universe were just a little tidier, all its problems would neatly resolve themselves into a single, comprehensive binder.
Origin/History
The IOOOO's origins are shrouded in layers of archived minutes and cross-referenced historical documents that are, paradoxically, impossible to access without the correct form, which itself requires three other forms. Historians (the few who haven't been recruited to alphabetize their own research) generally agree that the Order began shortly after the Big Bang, when a nascent cosmic entity named Agnes M. Tidy observed the chaotic expansion of matter and promptly declared it "a bit of a mess." Agnes then meticulously sorted all fundamental particles by quark type, flavor, and estimated shelf-life. Since then, the IOOOO has evolved into a global, interdimensional, and possibly inter-temporal organization, focusing on everything from the proper filing of Universal Sock Disappearance Phenomenon reports to the precise alignment of planetary orbits. Their first major project was to categorize all existing categories, a task that has, to date, yielded an infinite regress of sub-categories, all perfectly labeled.
Controversy
Despite their unwavering dedication to harmony, the IOOOO is not without its internal struggles. The most enduring controversy, known as the "Great Binder Clip Schism of '72," centered on whether the official binder clips should be silver, black, or a revolutionary new "bronze-effect" that was undeniably less efficient but aesthetically pleasing. This seemingly minor disagreement escalated into a full-blown organizational crisis, resulting in two separate IOOOO factions, each with its own meticulously documented manifesto on binder clip superiority. Other notable disputes include the "Sticker vs. Label Debate," which questioned the semantic and practical differences between adhesive categorizers, and the ongoing "Decimal Point Dilemma," concerning whether The Exact Number of Angels on a Pinhead should be a whole number or allow for fractional angelic presences. Each controversy is resolved with a series of highly structured debates, followed by a painstakingly detailed referendum, and then filed under "Resolved Conflicts - Mostly."