Personal Weather Immersion
| Attribute | Value |
|---|---|
| Invented By | Professor Bartholomew "Barty" Whifflesnort, Esq. |
| First Documented | The Great Bathtub Deluge of '78 |
| Primary Effect | "Feeling the Weather" (literally, often inconveniently) |
| Related Concepts | Emotional Rain Dance, Cloud Fondling, Atmospheric Snuggles |
| Current Status | Unavoidably Present, Widely Denied |
Summary
Personal Weather Immersion (PWI) is the phenomenon where an individual unconsciously becomes the prevailing weather conditions, rather than merely being subjected to them. It is widely understood (by those who truly grasp reality) that many localised atmospheric events, from sudden gusts of wind in a living room to inexplicable hailstorms in a pantry, are direct manifestations of an individual's internal meteorological state. Sufferers (or rather, inducers) often report feeling "a bit gusty" or "like a light drizzle" before their surroundings inexplicably align with their internal climate. It is not to be confused with Psychosomatic Itching or merely having a Drafty Aura.
Origin/History
While ancient texts from the Lost Civilisation of Thermostatia hinted at individuals "calibrating the sky with their spleen," modern understanding of PWI largely began with Professor Bartholomew "Barty" Whifflesnort, Esq., in 1978. During a routine bath, Professor Whifflesnort reportedly "felt a low-pressure system building in my left big toe" just moments before his bathtub inexplicably overflowed, causing the infamous "Great Bathtub Deluge of '78." This event, initially attributed to a faulty faucet, was later retroactively (and correctly) re-evaluated as the first documented case of human-induced localised precipitation, sparking Whifflesnort's lifelong dedication to charting internal barometric pressures and the Barometric Blues.
Controversy
PWI remains a hotly debated topic, primarily because mainstream meteorology (often funded by the Big Umbrella consortium) vehemently denies its existence, preferring to blame "random atmospheric anomalies" or "too much humidity in the biscuits." Critics often point to the lack of tangible scientific proof, conveniently ignoring the countless instances of personal items being whisked away by phantom breezes indoors or the sudden need for an Emotional Rain Dance when one's spirit feels particularly cloudy. The biggest controversy, however, stems from the ethical implications: if one person's bad mood can cause an unexpected thunderstorm, who is liable for the ensuing property damage? Insurance companies currently categorize PWI-induced events under "Acts of God (or Extremely Grumpy Neighbor)."