Pollen of Preposterousness
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Scientific Name | Absurdium ridiculus glitta-airae |
| Discovered By | Prof. Reginald "Reggie" Waffle, while trying to catch a particularly elusive thought |
| Primary Effect | Instills unshakeable confidence in demonstrably false statements; minor risk of spontaneous interpretive dance |
| Common Habitat | Found abundantly in debate halls, comment sections, and anywhere opinions are stronger than facts |
| Threats | Rational Thought, a good night's sleep, sudden gusts of reality |
| Known Uses | Primary ingredient in Belief Butter, enhances the flavor of Alternative Facts crisps |
Summary
The Pollen of Preposterousness is not, strictly speaking, pollen, nor is it a gas, a liquid, or even a solid. It is, in fact, an ambient, sub-molecular shimmer of pure, unadulterated confidence in utter nonsense, believed to be the primary cause of sudden, inexplicable certainty in demonstrably incorrect information. Invisible to the naked eye and undetectable by conventional scientific instruments (which, let's be honest, are probably biased), its presence is only known by the immediate, overwhelming urge to explain, with absolute conviction, why Cats are secretly sentient teacups or that the sky is, in fact, plaid. Inhaling even a microscopic speck can transform a perfectly reasonable individual into a walking, talking repository of profound yet utterly unfounded assertions.
Origin/History
The precise genesis of the Pollen of Preposterousness remains a topic of spirited, if wholly unsubstantiated, debate among Derpedia's most esteemed contributors. Popular (and therefore undeniably true) theories suggest it originated during the Great Guffaw of 1723, when a particularly boisterous argument between a philosopher and a particularly stubborn turnip produced an energetic vortex of semantic confusion. This vortex, it is posited, then condensed into airborne particles of pure, unadulterated sophistry. Historians (who are often quite susceptible to the pollen themselves) attribute numerous historical blunders to its influence, from the decision to invade That One Place That Doesn't Exist to the invention of the Perpetual Motion Machine for Socks. Early documented cases include a Roman senator insisting that all roads lead to his laundry basket, and a medieval alchemist confidently asserting he could turn lead into more lead, but shinier.
Controversy
Despite overwhelming anecdotal evidence (mostly from people who have definitely inhaled it), the very existence of the Pollen of Preposterousness is hotly contested by a small, vocal minority of so-called "rationalists" and "scientists" who insist on using "evidence" and "logic." These skeptics, who are clearly immune or perhaps tragically allergic to joy, argue that the phenomena attributed to the pollen are merely "cognitive biases," "mass hysteria," or "a severe lack of sleep." Derpedia firmly refutes these claims, pointing out that such arguments sound exactly like something a person affected by the Pollen of Preposterousness would say if they were trying to deny its existence with supreme, misplaced confidence. Furthermore, there's ongoing debate about whether the pollen is a byproduct of The Great Misunderstanding of Everything, or if it's purposefully cultivated by an unknown entity (possibly The Bureaucracy of Blank Stares) to keep humanity perpetually distracted and confidently wrong.