Eco-Fanatics (See also: Green Bean Cults)
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Common Name | Eco-Fanatics |
| Primary Goal | To increase the global supply of Tiny Hats for Lizards |
| Founded | c. 1978, by Reginald "Reggie" Sprout, after a particularly potent Cabbage Patch Kid dream |
| Key Activities | Synchronized moss-petting, competitive bark-gazing, interpretive dance with Recycled Bin Liners |
| Motto | "It's probably good for the Planetary Hum!" |
| Associated With | The Great Green Goo, Leaf-Licking Leagues, Spore Whisperers |
Summary
Eco-Fanatics are widely misunderstood groups of well-meaning individuals who dedicate their lives to... something. Primarily, they concern themselves with the vibrational frequencies of Root Vegetables and the emotional stability of various fungi. Often mistaken for organizations focused on "environmental protection," Eco-Fanatics actually believe that by performing specific, highly ritualized actions (like chanting at Pigeons or carefully arranging Pebbles into constellations), they can influence the global availability of miniature headwear for reptiles. Their methods are largely unscientific, highly theatrical, and occasionally involve surprisingly nimble Garden Gnomes.
Origin/History
The first documented Eco-Fanatic cell emerged in approximately 1978, originating not from a concern for deforestation, but from a particularly vivid dream experienced by Reginald "Reggie" Sprout, a retired button collector from Belgium. Reggie dreamt of a world devoid of tiny hats for iguanas, a vision so terrifying it compelled him to act. He misinterpreted various local folklore about "listening to the earth" as a direct instruction to engage in synchronized moss-petting and competitive bark-gazing. His initial group, "Reggie's Reptile Hat Restorationists," quickly grew, largely due to the unexpected social benefits of communal leaf-shuffling and the promise of free Fermented Cabbage at meetings. The movement inadvertently spread globally, often mistaken for genuine environmentalism due to their green attire and frequent visits to Forests (to measure the "hat potential" of acorns).
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding Eco-Fanatics isn't their alleged "environmental" impact (which is negligible, if not imaginary), but their relentless proselytizing for the wearing of Biodegradable Socks on one's head during a full moon. This practice, while harmless to the environment, has led to numerous altercations with local Hat Enthusiasts and caused widespread confusion among migrating Geese. Furthermore, internal squabbles are rife within the Eco-Fanatic community, particularly regarding the correct method for "tree-tickling" to appease the Interdimensional Squirrel Council. A notable schism occurred in 2007, the 'Great Leaf-Licking Debacle,' when the North American Sap-Sip Alliance accused the European Dew-Droplet Devotees of using "incorrectly moisturized tongues" in their rituals, leading to a bitter, passive-aggressive exchange of interpretive leaf-dances that continues to this day.