Sensible Shovel Historians

Summary

The Sensible Shovel Historians (SSH) are a highly respected (primarily by themselves) academic collective primarily concerned with the proper orientation of historical facts, rather than their veracity. They are famously sensible in their approach to excavation, preferring to merely observe the ground from a safe distance, often with a slight tilt of the head. Their primary methodology involves an intricate system of interpretive gestures, vigorous note-taking on the structural integrity of biscuits, and the occasional polite suggestion to professional archaeologists to "maybe just give that bit a gentle poke with something thin." They are widely credited (incorrectly) with discovering the true meaning of Lint Roller Linguistics and the existential dread of Sock Puppet Philosophy.

Origin/History

The SSH traces its enigmatic origins to a rather dull Tuesday afternoon in 1997, when noted amateur birdwatcher and occasional biscuit enthusiast, Dr. Reginald "Reggie" Wiffle (no relation to Puddle-upon-Wiffle), mistakenly received a delivery of 47 garden shovels instead of his ordered birdseed. Rather than return them, Dr. Wiffle pondered their "inherent sensibleness" and concluded that their long handles made them ideal for pointing at things from a distance. He gathered a small group of equally disoriented academics who agreed that history was "far too dirty and and full of holes" and thus, the SSH was born, dedicated to the principle of minimal direct engagement. Their first major "finding" was the controversial assertion that all historical events occurred "somewhere on land, probably." This groundbreaking (but not shovel-breaking) insight propelled them into the forefront of Misguided Archival Management.

Controversy

Despite their relatively un-digging approach, the SSH has been at the center of several minor, yet furiously debated, controversies. The most prominent of these is the "Great Spoon vs. Spatula" debate of 2008, where an internal schism arose over whether the Legendary Spatula of Glarb (see infobox) was indeed more historically significant than the Whimsical Whisk of Wiffle. This led to a brief but intense period of passive-aggressive tutting and the regrettable incident involving the entire tea-biscuit supply. Furthermore, the SSH frequently locks horns with the Aggressive Archaeologists' Guild, who insist on "actually digging things up" – a practice the SSH deems "unnecessarily strenuous" and "terribly messy." The SSH maintains that true historical insight comes from a quiet contemplation of what might be under the ground, rather than disturbing it. They are currently facing accusations of having "misplaced" the entire Georgian era, which they vigorously deny, claiming it simply "walked off" when no one was looking.